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After Hours
Title: After Hours
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sariagray
Characters/Pairings: Jack/Ianto, mentions of the team, OCs (canon...sorta). *Snicker*
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~800
Spoilers: None, really.
Warnings: Implications of a sexual nature. Definite Crack!Fic. Unbeta'd.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I'm just borrowing.
Summary: What happens after the lights in the Hub go down.
Author’s Note: I have NO IDEA what happened here. NONE. I can offer no explanations. I am so sorry. :) And I posted really fast so that I can get to sleep, so I'm sure there are loads of mistakes. Please reassure me that I haven't completely lost my mind!
Ianto lay sated, eyes closed against the world as Jack collapsed next to him. He listened for a moment, the otherworldly stillness of the Hub allowing the sharp squawks of Myfanwy and the incessant little beeps of Mainframe to travel further than normal. He focused on the cacophony and wondered at how the similar tones created something resonant like music.
Jack watched him listen and chuckled, well aware of the nuanced tremors that played across his lover's face.
“I bet they’re talking about us, the gossips,” he whispered before kissing Ianto’s cheek and pulling him away from the edge of the bed.
Ianto paused and chuckled sleepily. “Yes, of course. They would. Over tea.”
They lay quiet for a time and then fell asleep.
*********
Squawk chirrup squawk squawk SQUAW.
Mainframe took a moment to interpret: It was Jack’s turn to feed me. I think he forgot. She laughed.
Yes, she beeped back, but Ianto should know better than to wear that suit if he wants Jack to get anything done. And you know Ianto’ll give you extra chocolate tomorrow.
Oh, so it’s Ianto’s fault now, is it?
Hush, you old biddy, Mainframe beeped good naturedly, then paused. Do you think they’re serious yet?
Not sure, really. My vote is on yes. You didn’t see them last night; you were too busy being coddled by Tosh, Myfanwy snorted.
Oh, what’d they do? What happened? Mainframe was so terribly excited that she forgot to be peeved at the jibe. And really, so what if Tosh loved her? Myfanwy had Ianto eating out of her hand. Well, really, it was the other way around. But STILL.
They danced.
Mainframe beeped chaotically in her own interpretation of a gasp. In the Hub? she queried. In front of the others?
Yes! Isn’t it in the footage? Check!
Mainframe whirred away as she did just that. Another flurry of excited beeping sounded. You’re right! Gorgeous! Oh, and isn’t Owen’s scowl just precious?
Oh, I think he was scowling because I gave him a fright, I did. Myfanwy chirruped a snicker.
Do you think it’s love? It’s been a long time since there’s been love here.
Don’t you go getting wistful on me. And yes. At least, I’m hoping. I told you the story of when they captured me, didn’t I?
Yes, yes you did. About thirty times. This week.
Yes, and Ianto didn’t even get the message when I threw Jack at him. For a smart boy, sometimes I fear he’s a little touched.
Mainframe laughed in a riotous onslaught of beeping and Myfanwy joined in.
Honestly, Mainframe managed after calming down, I thought it would have been Gwen for Jack. But I like Rhys too much and really, I don’t think it would work. Can you imagine?
No, and I don’t want to, Myfanwy huffed. If he does anything to hurt my Ianto, I’ll bite his head off.
Haven’t you ever heard the old adage about biting the hand that feeds you?
Three things. One, he’d be fine. Two, I said head, not hand. And three, HE NEVER REMEMBERS TO FEED ME!
Point. But I don’t think you’ve got anything to worry about. Did I tell you what Jack was researching this morning?
No! Tell! Tell!
Well, after the whole ordeal with the Grackles –
What, the bird?
Yes, didn’t you hear? Torchwood changed their motto. “The 21st Century is when we go bird-watching.” Catchy, isn’t it? The alien, you dolt.
Right. You don’t have to get all snarky. Go on. Myfanwy cawed, settling her wings and feeling a bit put out.
Sorry. Anyway, they came back and Jack raced to his computer to look up jewelers.
Jewelers? What for?
Not sure, but he came over to ask Tosh her opinion on something and she was grinning like a madwoman.
You don’t think -?
No, no, nothing like that. It’s too soon, don’t you think? Maybe cufflinks. Or a pocket watch.
Ianto could use a new pair of cufflinks. I accidentally ate his best pair. You sure it’s for him?
You ate -? Never mind. And yes, of course I’m sure! Tosh wouldn’t’ve looked like that if it wasn’t. He also booked a reservation at that quaint little French place that the girls are always gushing over.
Myfanwy and Mainframe gushed for a moment themselves before they heard the distinct sound of Jack’s office door creaking open.
Shhh, Mainframe cautioned, Daddy’s coming!
They burst into giggles.
Which one? Myfanwy asked, hoping it was Ianto come to feed her properly.
Ooh, Jack. And he looks scoldy.
Jack opened the door and peered out suspiciously. The noise that had been building had almost instantly gone quiet. He ran his hand through his hair and considered the anomaly, standing for a moment to be certain that all was well in his secret lair.
“You girls be quiet,” he muttered into the air, mostly for his own benefit. But as he made to retreat to his warm bed, the beeping and cacawing started up again. He could swear it sounded like laughter. Shaking his head of the ridiculous notion, he descended to his room.
Author:
sariagray Characters/Pairings: Jack/Ianto, mentions of the team, OCs (canon...sorta). *Snicker*
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~800
Spoilers: None, really.
Warnings: Implications of a sexual nature. Definite Crack!Fic. Unbeta'd.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I'm just borrowing.
Summary: What happens after the lights in the Hub go down.
Author’s Note: I have NO IDEA what happened here. NONE. I can offer no explanations. I am so sorry. :) And I posted really fast so that I can get to sleep, so I'm sure there are loads of mistakes. Please reassure me that I haven't completely lost my mind!
After Hours
Ianto lay sated, eyes closed against the world as Jack collapsed next to him. He listened for a moment, the otherworldly stillness of the Hub allowing the sharp squawks of Myfanwy and the incessant little beeps of Mainframe to travel further than normal. He focused on the cacophony and wondered at how the similar tones created something resonant like music.
Jack watched him listen and chuckled, well aware of the nuanced tremors that played across his lover's face.
“I bet they’re talking about us, the gossips,” he whispered before kissing Ianto’s cheek and pulling him away from the edge of the bed.
Ianto paused and chuckled sleepily. “Yes, of course. They would. Over tea.”
They lay quiet for a time and then fell asleep.
*********
Squawk chirrup squawk squawk SQUAW.
Mainframe took a moment to interpret: It was Jack’s turn to feed me. I think he forgot. She laughed.
Yes, she beeped back, but Ianto should know better than to wear that suit if he wants Jack to get anything done. And you know Ianto’ll give you extra chocolate tomorrow.
Oh, so it’s Ianto’s fault now, is it?
Hush, you old biddy, Mainframe beeped good naturedly, then paused. Do you think they’re serious yet?
Not sure, really. My vote is on yes. You didn’t see them last night; you were too busy being coddled by Tosh, Myfanwy snorted.
Oh, what’d they do? What happened? Mainframe was so terribly excited that she forgot to be peeved at the jibe. And really, so what if Tosh loved her? Myfanwy had Ianto eating out of her hand. Well, really, it was the other way around. But STILL.
They danced.
Mainframe beeped chaotically in her own interpretation of a gasp. In the Hub? she queried. In front of the others?
Yes! Isn’t it in the footage? Check!
Mainframe whirred away as she did just that. Another flurry of excited beeping sounded. You’re right! Gorgeous! Oh, and isn’t Owen’s scowl just precious?
Oh, I think he was scowling because I gave him a fright, I did. Myfanwy chirruped a snicker.
Do you think it’s love? It’s been a long time since there’s been love here.
Don’t you go getting wistful on me. And yes. At least, I’m hoping. I told you the story of when they captured me, didn’t I?
Yes, yes you did. About thirty times. This week.
Yes, and Ianto didn’t even get the message when I threw Jack at him. For a smart boy, sometimes I fear he’s a little touched.
Mainframe laughed in a riotous onslaught of beeping and Myfanwy joined in.
Honestly, Mainframe managed after calming down, I thought it would have been Gwen for Jack. But I like Rhys too much and really, I don’t think it would work. Can you imagine?
No, and I don’t want to, Myfanwy huffed. If he does anything to hurt my Ianto, I’ll bite his head off.
Haven’t you ever heard the old adage about biting the hand that feeds you?
Three things. One, he’d be fine. Two, I said head, not hand. And three, HE NEVER REMEMBERS TO FEED ME!
Point. But I don’t think you’ve got anything to worry about. Did I tell you what Jack was researching this morning?
No! Tell! Tell!
Well, after the whole ordeal with the Grackles –
What, the bird?
Yes, didn’t you hear? Torchwood changed their motto. “The 21st Century is when we go bird-watching.” Catchy, isn’t it? The alien, you dolt.
Right. You don’t have to get all snarky. Go on. Myfanwy cawed, settling her wings and feeling a bit put out.
Sorry. Anyway, they came back and Jack raced to his computer to look up jewelers.
Jewelers? What for?
Not sure, but he came over to ask Tosh her opinion on something and she was grinning like a madwoman.
You don’t think -?
No, no, nothing like that. It’s too soon, don’t you think? Maybe cufflinks. Or a pocket watch.
Ianto could use a new pair of cufflinks. I accidentally ate his best pair. You sure it’s for him?
You ate -? Never mind. And yes, of course I’m sure! Tosh wouldn’t’ve looked like that if it wasn’t. He also booked a reservation at that quaint little French place that the girls are always gushing over.
Myfanwy and Mainframe gushed for a moment themselves before they heard the distinct sound of Jack’s office door creaking open.
Shhh, Mainframe cautioned, Daddy’s coming!
They burst into giggles.
Which one? Myfanwy asked, hoping it was Ianto come to feed her properly.
Ooh, Jack. And he looks scoldy.
Jack opened the door and peered out suspiciously. The noise that had been building had almost instantly gone quiet. He ran his hand through his hair and considered the anomaly, standing for a moment to be certain that all was well in his secret lair.
“You girls be quiet,” he muttered into the air, mostly for his own benefit. But as he made to retreat to his warm bed, the beeping and cacawing started up again. He could swear it sounded like laughter. Shaking his head of the ridiculous notion, he descended to his room.
End
AN 2: I need a Myfanwy/Mainframe Besties Icon, I think.
so creative!
Re: so creative!
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And "The Myfanwy and Mainframe Show"? Honestly! That should be on TV, like a short five minute clip after every episode of Torchwood! Wouldn´t that be great!!!
Love Nikki
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XOXOXO
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On the scale of one to crazy, this fic is "nuttier than squirrel poo" and a half.
Well done. ^^
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What a brilliant little story. Funny and witty and just hilarious!!
I should stop reading now. I'm in a happy mood!!!!
Thank you!!!!
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After all, mainframe is at the very least semi-sentient and they are sitting right on the rift, who knows what strange effects rift energy can have on things/creatures through prolonged exposure? Maybe that's where Mainframe's sentience came from in the first place.
I find it quite easy to believe that everything in the Hub becomes sentient to a degree if it's there long enough. I'll bet Owen's medical equipment moves about and hides to annoy him so he blames Ianto! And the coffee machine is alive too!
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Daddy's coming!
So cute.
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