sariagray: (omgwtfbbq lisa myfanwy)
[personal profile] sariagray
Title: After Hours
Author[livejournal.com profile] sariagray 
Characters/Pairings: Jack/Ianto, mentions of the team, OCs (canon...sorta). *Snicker*
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~800
Spoilers: None, really.
Warnings: Implications of a sexual nature. Definite Crack!Fic. Unbeta'd.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I'm just borrowing.
Summary: What happens after the lights in the Hub go down.

Author’s Note: I have NO IDEA what happened here. NONE. I can offer no explanations. I am so sorry. :) And I posted really fast so that I can get to sleep, so I'm sure there are loads of mistakes. Please reassure me that I haven't completely lost my mind!

 
After Hours

Ianto lay sated, eyes closed against the world as Jack collapsed next to him. He listened for a moment, the otherworldly stillness of the Hub allowing the sharp squawks of Myfanwy and the incessant little beeps of Mainframe to travel further than normal. He focused on the cacophony and wondered at how the similar tones created something resonant like music.

Jack watched him listen and chuckled, well aware of the nuanced tremors that played across his lover's face.

“I bet they’re talking about us, the gossips,” he whispered before kissing Ianto’s cheek and pulling him away from the edge of the bed.

Ianto paused and chuckled sleepily. “Yes, of course. They would. Over tea.”

They lay quiet for a time and then fell asleep.


*********

Squawk chirrup squawk squawk SQUAW.

Mainframe took a moment to interpret: It was Jack’s turn to feed me. I think he forgot. She laughed.

Yes, she beeped back, but Ianto should know better than to wear that suit if he wants Jack to get anything done. And you know Ianto’ll give you extra chocolate tomorrow.

Oh, so it’s Ianto’s fault now, is it?

Hush, you old biddy, Mainframe beeped good naturedly, then paused. Do you think they’re serious yet?

Not sure, really. My vote is on yes. You didn’t see them last night; you were too busy being coddled by Tosh, Myfanwy snorted.

Oh, what’d they do? What happened? Mainframe was so terribly excited that she forgot to be peeved at the jibe. And really, so what if Tosh loved her? Myfanwy had Ianto eating out of her hand. Well, really, it was the other way around. But STILL.

They danced.

Mainframe beeped chaotically in her own interpretation of a gasp. In the Hub? she queried. In front of the others?

Yes! Isn’t it in the footage? Check!

Mainframe whirred away as she did just that. Another flurry of excited beeping sounded. You’re right! Gorgeous! Oh, and isn’t Owen’s scowl just precious?

Oh, I think he was scowling because I gave him a fright, I did. Myfanwy chirruped a snicker.

Do you think it’s love? It’s been a long time since there’s been love here.

Don’t you go getting wistful on me. And yes. At least, I’m hoping. I told you the story of when they captured me, didn’t I?

Yes, yes you did. About thirty times. This week.

Yes, and Ianto didn’t even get the message when I threw Jack at him. For a smart boy, sometimes I fear he’s a little touched.

Mainframe laughed in a riotous onslaught of beeping and Myfanwy joined in.

Honestly, Mainframe managed after calming down, I thought it would have been Gwen for Jack. But I like Rhys too much and really, I don’t think it would work. Can you imagine?

No, and I don’t want to, Myfanwy huffed. If he does anything to hurt my Ianto, I’ll bite his head off.

Haven’t you ever heard the old adage about biting the hand that feeds you?

Three things. One, he’d be fine. Two, I said head, not hand. And three, HE NEVER REMEMBERS TO FEED ME!

Point. But I don’t think you’ve got anything to worry about. Did I tell you what Jack was researching this morning?

No! Tell! Tell!

Well, after the whole ordeal with the Grackles –

What, the bird?

Yes, didn’t you hear? Torchwood changed their motto. “The 21st Century is when we go bird-watching.” Catchy, isn’t it? The alien, you dolt.

Right. You don’t have to get all snarky. Go on. Myfanwy cawed, settling her wings and feeling a bit put out.

Sorry. Anyway, they came back and Jack raced to his computer to look up jewelers.

Jewelers? What for?

Not sure, but he came over to ask Tosh her opinion on something and she was grinning like a madwoman.

You don’t think -?

No, no, nothing like that. It’s too soon, don’t you think? Maybe cufflinks. Or a pocket watch.

Ianto could use a new pair of cufflinks. I accidentally ate his best pair. You sure it’s for him?


You ate -? Never mind. And yes, of course I’m sure! Tosh wouldn’t’ve looked like that if it wasn’t. He also booked a reservation at that quaint little French place that the girls are always gushing over.

Myfanwy and Mainframe gushed for a moment themselves before they heard the distinct sound of Jack’s office door creaking open.

Shhh, Mainframe cautioned, Daddy’s coming!

They burst into giggles.

Which one? Myfanwy asked, hoping it was Ianto come to feed her properly.

Ooh, Jack. And he looks scoldy.

Jack opened the door and peered out suspiciously. The noise that had been building had almost instantly gone quiet. He ran his hand through his hair and considered the anomaly, standing for a moment to be certain that all was well in his secret lair.

“You girls be quiet,” he muttered into the air, mostly for his own benefit. But as he made to retreat to his warm bed, the beeping and cacawing started up again. He could swear it sounded like laughter. Shaking his head of the ridiculous notion, he descended to his room. 

End


AN 2: I need a Myfanwy/Mainframe Besties Icon, I think.
 

so creative!

Date: 2010-11-12 02:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lawford.livejournal.com
I loved it. Made me smile, which I could use today.

Re: so creative!

Date: 2010-11-12 02:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Glad it made you smile! :)

Date: 2010-11-12 02:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aviv-b.livejournal.com
OMG that was truly cracked! I love it! I've been wanting to write a Myfanwy fic, but it would never be anywhere as good as this. Sigh.

Date: 2010-11-12 02:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
You should DEFINITELY write a Myfanwy fic. We all talk about it...it needs to happen more. And I bet it would be better! :)

Date: 2010-11-12 02:24 am (UTC)
ext_550863: (Default)
From: [identity profile] usakiwigirl.livejournal.com
Hahahaha - great afternoon cackle fest! Brilliant! :DDD

Date: 2010-11-12 02:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Hurray! I swear, there must be something in the water here. Glad to bring cackling to the masses, as I've been doing it all day. :)

Date: 2010-11-12 02:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] too-beauty.livejournal.com
OMG! this was so unique and wonderful! you should turn this inot a looooooooong series, love the conversation between them too much!

Date: 2010-11-12 02:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
You people and your long series! Y'all are going to wear me out! ;-) They may make an appearance now and then. I almost want them to pop in and heckle events in various situations. "The Myfanwy and Mainframe Show." I'm happy you liked it!

Date: 2010-11-12 03:19 am (UTC)
ext_550863: (Default)
From: [identity profile] usakiwigirl.livejournal.com
Now that's a cute idea worth exploring - you can just use them when you run out of ideas for a moment, you know (comic relief) and then get back to serious business!

Date: 2010-11-12 04:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
It is...let me add it to the plot bunny pile! :-D

Date: 2010-11-12 04:24 am (UTC)
ext_550863: (Default)
From: [identity profile] usakiwigirl.livejournal.com
Plot bunnies love yummy plot carrots!

Date: 2010-11-12 03:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nikki-b1.livejournal.com
Briliant! Such an original idea! I loved it!
And "The Myfanwy and Mainframe Show"? Honestly! That should be on TV, like a short five minute clip after every episode of Torchwood! Wouldn´t that be great!!!

Love Nikki

Date: 2010-11-12 04:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thank you! I think it should have been on TV, too. I would watch! It would be fantastic. :)

Date: 2010-11-12 03:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thebuttonontop.livejournal.com
i love any story that involves myfanwy. this was actually terribly sweet and wonderful! i think it needs to continue. we need more conversations between them!!!

Date: 2010-11-12 04:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thebuttonontop.livejournal.com
oh... and i can say with all confidence that you've lost your mind. :)

Date: 2010-11-12 04:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Yes, you would know! :) And I was writing a really long comment in response to your original - but then my laptop literally overheated and shut itself off. Whoops! :)

Date: 2010-11-12 04:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thebuttonontop.livejournal.com
:( sad. both for your laptop and and your lost comment.

i had been wondering where you went! lol.

heh, i just went back and reread some older stuff and am now in tears again.

Date: 2010-11-12 04:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
My stuff?! If so, you should know better. I make women cry, remember?! And I wrote happy, silly fic! Now I'll have to write more to get you to stop. Or was that your evil plan all along?

Also, laptop rebooted. Hallelujah.

Date: 2010-11-12 05:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thebuttonontop.livejournal.com
yeah. your stuff... I just reread Tenses. Was reminding myself which one it was... THAT was a dumb idea. such a good fic, but yes. you ALWAYS make me cry!!

Not my plan, but I won't complain... lol.

Date: 2010-11-12 05:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chironsgirl.livejournal.com
Yes, I think I can say without fear of contradiction, you have gone completely round the twist. Officially. But that's ok, most of us are in protective custody, so you will fit right in. And I feel a Myfanwy fic coming on....
XOXOXO

Date: 2010-11-12 10:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
I KNEW it! Glad to get the official word on it, though. Thanks! :)

Date: 2010-11-12 07:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vic-amy-z.livejournal.com
Loved it! This was the perfect cracktastic start to my day! And there should definitely be more Myfanwy and Mainframe [nods]. Thank for sharing...

Date: 2010-11-12 10:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
I'm glad you enjoyed and that your day has started...well? :) Thanks!

Date: 2010-11-12 08:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oddityisavirtue.livejournal.com
I love this.
On the scale of one to crazy, this fic is "nuttier than squirrel poo" and a half.
Well done. ^^

Date: 2010-11-12 10:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
I am so adding "crazy" to my official repertoire now! :) Thank you!

Date: 2010-11-12 08:11 am (UTC)
ext_401263: (Default)
From: [identity profile] mv-girl.livejournal.com
OMG - lol!!!!!!
What a brilliant little story. Funny and witty and just hilarious!!
I should stop reading now. I'm in a happy mood!!!!
Thank you!!!!

Date: 2010-11-12 10:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Yay! Thanks so much! Glad to bring you happy!

Date: 2010-11-12 11:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rangerharkness.livejournal.com
ICON!! hehehe. Very funny.

Date: 2010-11-12 11:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
YES! Oh, I so need to make Myfanwy/Mainframe icons. Glad you thought so! :)

Date: 2010-11-12 08:04 pm (UTC)
bk_forever: (Laughing Jack)
From: [personal profile] bk_forever
Lol! Highly believable =)

After all, mainframe is at the very least semi-sentient and they are sitting right on the rift, who knows what strange effects rift energy can have on things/creatures through prolonged exposure? Maybe that's where Mainframe's sentience came from in the first place.

I find it quite easy to believe that everything in the Hub becomes sentient to a degree if it's there long enough. I'll bet Owen's medical equipment moves about and hides to annoy him so he blames Ianto! And the coffee machine is alive too!

Date: 2010-11-12 11:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
I'm glad you find it plausible! I did, too! :) And now you have me wanting the whole Hub to come alive like Toy Story.

The coffee machine is SO alive. But I think Ianto's aware of that. :) I bet he (the coffee machine, that is) talks, too. Yes.

Date: 2010-11-12 11:30 pm (UTC)
bk_forever: (Ianto's Coffee)
From: [personal profile] bk_forever
I can see Ianto plotting with the coffee machine, so it won't work for anyone else! Anyone else tries to work it, it burns their fingers and hisses steam at them, but it lurves Ianto =)

Date: 2010-11-13 01:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zazajb.livejournal.com
Fantastic fun and so clever :D xxx

Date: 2010-11-14 09:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thank you much! :) I'm glad you liked!

Date: 2010-11-13 03:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sassysailorgirl.livejournal.com
Loved this! It makes me want to write Myfanwy fic! She deserves more attention ;p

Date: 2010-11-14 09:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Hehe! ICON LOVE! She does deserve more attention! Poor dear! Thanks!

Date: 2010-11-13 08:34 am (UTC)
ext_3966: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lone-star-woman.livejournal.com
I LOVE IT! OMG! Myfanwy and Mainframe are totally Janto fangirls. I love their gossiping and the way they tease each other. And of course Myfanwy tossed Jack into Ianto's arms.

Daddy's coming!

So cute.

Date: 2010-11-14 09:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Yep. I'm not using them as my own personal Greek chorus, no no, not at all!! ;-) And she definitely did toss Jack. I know, I saw.

I'm glad you liked it! It's good to know my (temporary?) insanity makes people happy! :)

Date: 2010-11-16 09:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chocolatenianto.livejournal.com
Brilliant made me giggle.

Date: 2010-11-16 10:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thanks! :)

Date: 2010-11-24 12:27 am (UTC)
ext_49452: (Default)
From: [identity profile] analineblue.livejournal.com
Oh god, this is hilarious. And adorable. And I love it. XDDDD

Date: 2010-11-24 12:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Hurray! Thank you! :-D I'm glad you enjoyed!

Date: 2010-11-24 03:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pharlap1.livejournal.com
Good story haha Myfanwy and Mainframe gossiping about the boys

Date: 2010-12-31 01:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
THank you!

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