Variations

Nov. 30th, 2010 08:46 pm
sariagray: (Default)
[personal profile] sariagray
Title: Variations
Author
[info]sariagray 
Characters/Pairings: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG, at most.
Word Count: 529
Spoilers: While inspired by The Dead Line, there are no real spoilers.
Warnings: Slight sappy melancholy. That's about it. Oh! And unbeta'd. So, yay mistakes!
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction. No monetary compensation has been or will be garnered from this endeavor. This is purely for entertainment purposes and is no way intended to disrespect anyone or anything.


Author's Note: Oh, look. I wrote something. The first quoted bit comes from Margaret Atwood's "Variations on the Word Sleep," whilst the second and third bits come from Margaret Atwood's "Variations on the Word Love." If you haven't, you should read them. 
Love and Sleep. They are lovely. 

 
Variations



I would like to be the air
that inhabits you for a moment
only. I would like to be that unnoticed
& that necessary.


Jack sleeps.

Ianto watches while propped up on an elbow, eyes tracing shadowy contours of skin and sinew and bone. He wonders if his gaze is shooting invisible beams that will prod Jack awake, but so far it hasn’t happened.

Jack sleeps.

That in itself astounds Ianto if he allows himself to dwell, which he does now. Jack sleeps. He isn’t certain when it happened, when this man’s slumber became the ultimate compliment. Somehow, four hours of uninterrupted sleep begins to connote comfort and understanding and…and…and.

Jack sighs.

The soft huff of air startles Ianto and he freezes, a little doe-eyed at the prospect of Jack catching him like this. There is just a white sheet draped clumsily over his hip and his eyes are wet with the strain of staring in the dark and he is too vulnerable like this. A whisper alone could strangle him.

Jack smiles.

Ianto smiles back, relieved that Jack can’t see him like this, and yet disappointed, too. He leans in close, breathes in the air that Jack exhales, and ponders the symbiotic metaphor until it makes him dizzy. Jack breathes eternal life and it comforts Ianto to feel it on his lips and skin. When he is feeling his most benevolently morose, Ianto wishes he could breathe eternal death to return the favor.

With that thought, he ghosts his lips over Jack’s, cotton light, and crawls into dreams as if they were made of flannel.

This word
is far too short for us, it has only
four letters, too sparse
to fill those deep bare
vacuums between the stars
that press on us with their deafness.
It's not love we don't wish
to fall into, but that fear.


Ianto sleeps.

Jack wakes up gradually and shifts. He watches while propped up on an elbow, eyes tracing shadowy contours of skin and sinew and bone. He wonders if his stirring into a more comfortable position will jar Ianto awake, but so far it hasn’t happened.

Ianto sleeps.

That in itself astounds Jack if he allows himself to dwell, which he does now. Ianto sleeps. Gone are the evenings of restless tossing, the attempts to break free from the shadowy grasp of nightmares, the pained panted gasps for breath, the hollow shouted words. Somehow, the steady rise and fall of this man’s chest begins to connote comfort and understanding and…and…and.

Ianto sighs.

The soft huff of air startles Jack and he freezes, afraid that his thoughts were too loud and stripped bare of their pretty protective varnish. There is just a white sheet draped artfully over his hip and his eyes are wet with the strain of blinking away sleep and he is too vulnerable like this. And yet he leans into the susurration with a masochist’s longing; he could live on a whisper alone.

Ianto smiles.

Jack smiles back, relieved that Ianto can’t hear him like this and yet disappointed, too. He leans in close, breathes in the air that Ianto exhales, and ponders the symbiotic metaphor until it makes him dizzy. Ianto breathes earth and constancy and it comforts Jack to feel it on his lips and skin. When he is feeling his most miserably hopeful, Jack wishes he could breathe stars and variability to return the favor.

With that thought, he ghosts his lips over Ianto’s, velvet soft, and slips back into dreams as if they were made of silk.

Jack and Ianto sleep.

You can
hold on or let go.

End



Date: 2010-12-01 02:22 am (UTC)
ext_581793: (Default)
From: [identity profile] babukoan.livejournal.com
I absolutely loved it! It's beautifully written. I really enjoyed the contrast between what Ianto sees and what Jack sees. Thanks so much for sharing! ^_^

Date: 2010-12-01 03:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm really glad you enjoyed. :) And I'm glad the contrast worked!

Date: 2010-12-01 03:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xrai-namere.livejournal.com
Ooh, that was beautiful.
And the poems are lovely, thanks for reccing them. :)

Date: 2010-12-01 03:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Aren't they? I happened upon them by accident and fell in love.

And thank you. :)

Date: 2010-12-01 03:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] msemmaloo.livejournal.com
Oh my gosh, this was perfect!

Date: 2010-12-01 03:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Hee! Thank you! *blush* :)

Date: 2010-12-01 03:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thebuttonontop.livejournal.com
wow. this is nothing short of poetry. the repetition is beautiful, and so so powerful. *sighs* i love it. absolutely love it. i wish i had the words to say how much this touched me... *sighs* heh, you probably know though. :)

Date: 2010-12-01 03:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Proof positive that it isn't all cock? Haha!

I do know, and I'm glad it worked and that you enjoyed and all of that. I was worried that the "like this" would be too much, and my opinion keeps shifting back and forth on it, but....well....I'm notoriously indecisive. :) haha

Thank you! :-D

Date: 2010-12-01 03:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Why, thank you!

wow

Date: 2010-12-01 03:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lawford.livejournal.com
One of the best things I've read this year. You're on a roll.

Re: wow

Date: 2010-12-01 10:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Oh! Wow, indeed. You've just made my morning. Thank you. :)

Date: 2010-12-01 03:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aviv-b.livejournal.com
This was wonderful - with the parallel scenes - so similar, yet so different.

Date: 2010-12-01 10:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thanks! And I think that so similar, yet so different describes them perfectly!

Date: 2010-12-01 04:16 am (UTC)
ext_29271: (Default)
From: [identity profile] temporal-witch.livejournal.com
Oh, how beautiful! I love the use of language, as well as the form you employed here. Such a lovely testament to what they have. Thank you for this - you captured it beautifully. ♥

Would you mind if I friended you so I don't miss your posts?

Date: 2010-12-01 10:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! And I would be honored. :)

Date: 2010-12-01 04:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zephyras13.livejournal.com
Wow, that was amazing! The way you use imagery is just perfect! Usually I don't like drabbles, but this was great! Good job!

Date: 2010-12-01 10:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thank you! That's quite the compliment! :)

Date: 2010-12-01 07:46 am (UTC)
ext_3966: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lone-star-woman.livejournal.com
The soft huff of air startles Jack and he freezes, afraid that his thoughts were too loud and stripped bare of their pretty protective varnish.



When I finished reading that, I had to take a deep sigh. I hadn't realized that I was barely breathing. Beautifully done.

Date: 2010-12-01 10:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Oh! Thank you! And I'm glad you didn't pass out! :) That would be bad...but then I could send Jack to resuscitate you. So maybe not too bad. ;-) I'm glad you liked!

Date: 2010-12-01 08:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jedi-harkness.livejournal.com
*sighs deeply* That was beautiful, love! :) I'll hopefully have some lovely dreams of my own...

Date: 2010-12-01 10:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
I hope you do/did! And thanks! :)

Date: 2010-12-01 10:42 pm (UTC)
ext_49452: (Default)
From: [identity profile] analineblue.livejournal.com
Oh wow, this is just beautiful! Wonderful and lyrical and just kind of perfect, really. *__* I love the poems too--they worked perfectly with this.

...And I liked this line, especially: When he is feeling his most miserably hopeful, Jack wishes he could breathe stars and variability to return the favor.

<3

Date: 2010-12-02 11:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thank you! And I liked that line, too! :)

Date: 2010-12-01 11:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nancybrown.livejournal.com
This was really beautiful. I love echo fics.

Date: 2010-12-02 11:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thank you! :)

Date: 2010-12-02 03:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sassysailorgirl.livejournal.com
Absolutely love this!

Date: 2010-12-02 11:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Yay! I'm glad you did! :) Thanks!

Date: 2010-12-02 10:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mcparrot.livejournal.com
That was stunning. The two, the same but different. It was great.

Date: 2010-12-02 11:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thanks! :) And you're right, they are the same but different! :)

Date: 2010-12-05 09:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zazajb.livejournal.com
I'm catching up on my reading slowly! This was absolutely beautiful and I loved the way they saw different things as the other sleeps. Gorgeous. xxx

Date: 2010-12-07 01:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thank you dear! :) I'm glad you liked it!

Date: 2010-12-06 12:37 am (UTC)
bk_forever: (You Are Mine)
From: [personal profile] bk_forever
Gorgeous, lyrical, romantic and a little melancholy.
I love the way they watch each other sleep, Jack unconsciously doing just what Ianto did, as though a part of him was aware even as he slept.

I'm not making sense - it's late and I should be asleep!

Just... I really love this!

Date: 2010-12-07 01:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Eee! I'm glad you loved it! And it makes perfect sense, and I'm touched! :) They are so in-tune with one another! :)

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