sariagray: (Default)
[personal profile] sariagray
Title: Can You Hear Me Now?
Author[livejournal.com profile] sariagray 
Characters/Pairings: Jack/Ianto, Gwen, Owen, Tosh
Rating: PG13-ish?
Word Count: 777
Spoilers: Nothing really. 
Warnings: Occasional language, Fluff!, all the usual stuff.
Beta: Beta'd by the wonderful [livejournal.com profile] thebuttonontop . :) 
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction. No monetary compensation has been or will be garnered from this endeavor. This is purely for entertainment purposes and is no way intended to disrespect the creators/owners of Torchwood.

Author's Note: Saria Claus is back, spreading joy and good cheer with another gift. This was written as a holiday present to [livejournal.com profile] too_beauty, who requested: "Jack and Ianto and a really embarrassing and domestic situation at Tesco." I hope you enjoy and happy holidays!

 
Can You Hear Me Now?


“No.”

“No?”

“Absolutely not.”

“But -”

“No!”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not on the list.”

“We can add it to the list.” Shuffle shuffle static scratch scratch. “There. See? Now it’s on the list.”

“Fine. But that’s it. No more adding to the list! We haven’t even picked up half the things on there.”

“All right, all right. No more adding to the list. Promise. Oh! What about this?”

“No! There isn’t enough space in the kitchen!”

“We need a bigger flat.”

“Just so you can buy a case of peanut butter? What do you need a whole case for, anyway?”

“Well,” shuffle shuffle static static shuffle. “I can think of a lot of things.”

Shuffle “Hm. That would leave us rather sticky. And then we’d need new linens. And possibly a new bed. So, still, no.”

“You’re no fun!”

“Oh?” Shuffle static shuffle.

“Okay, okay, I take it back!”

“Good. Now can we please finish here?”

“Yeah. Hey, what’s that giggling noise?”

“Huh? What – oh! I hear it, too. It’s…Oh, shit –“

**************

Gwen pulled her ringing mobile from out of her pocket and checked the screen before flipping it open.

“Ianto, what’s the matter?”

Silence. Shuffle shuffle static shuffle.

“Ianto? Hello?”

Shuffle shuffle.

She sighed. She was about to ring off when she heard voices. A wave of panic enveloped her as her mind ran through a thousand scenarios, most of them involving Ianto hurt and trapped and unable to speak.

“But we’re out of cocoa!” Jack whined, distant and tinny and muffled over the line. Gwen breathed a sigh of relief. She was about to ring off again when an idea took hold; she turned the volume up on her mobile, a wicked grin on her face.

“We had a whole box two days ago! What did you do with it all?” Ianto sighed.

Gwen chuckled to herself, signaling frantically for Owen and Tosh to join her. As they approached, all eager, determined curiosity, she put a finger over her mouth to keep them silent and gestured to the phone in her hand.

“Well, remember last night and the –“

“Oh God. Right. Yes, okay, cocoa. You really used the whole thing?”

“Well, there was a lot of skin to cover.”


Covering the mouthpiece with her thumb and her lips with her free hand, Gwen tried to suppress her laughter. Grinning, Tosh plucked the device from her hand and scampered to the conference room as Gwen and Owen followed closely behind. The brilliant technician fiddled with a few buttons and, soon enough, they could hear the voice of their captain booming through the speakerphone.

“So, what else is there?” Jack asked, sounding less like he was talking through a tin can with the improved acoustics. Tosh really was a miracle worker.

“Owen wants biscuits.”

“Owen? But aren’t we supposed to be shopping for the flat?”

“I’m not making separate trips.”

“Fine. How’s this?”

“That’ll work. And grab that one for Gwen.”

Gwen beamed excitedly at the mention of her name, eagerly anticipating whatever treat was coming her way.

“Sure. What about Tosh?”

“Taken care of already. See?”

“Nice. And me?”

“Between the flat and the Hub you’ve enough treats to feed every child in Cardiff for a year.”

“So?” Shuffle shuffle shuffle.

“That’s not going to work this time.”

There was a long, drawn-out pause in which little was heard except the shuffling static of movement. The phone beeped a few times as though numbers were being pressed at random, cutting through the soft, low moan that seemed to echo throughout the boardroom.

“You sure about that?” Jack’s voice had dropped an octave or two.

“Yes! I mean, no! Er...fine. One package. But that’s it.

Owen looked at the two women giggling at his side, his face screwed up in a mixture of horror and disgust. He whispered harshly, mostly to himself. “Are they…in Tesco? Snogging? Bloody hell!”

“It’s not…it’s not as bad as that time...when we sent them for curry….” Tosh managed between gasps of near-silent laughter.

**************

“ – my mobile’s on. And it called Gwen!”

Jack grimaced and looked at the device being brandished before him. “And it’s been on for over twenty minutes now.”

“You don’t think she heard anything, do you?” Ianto bit his lower lip slightly.

“Nah.” Jack paused thoughtfully. “Either that, or they’re all sitting around listening to us.” He grinned.

“Yep!” The chorus of snickering voices, tinny and distant, came down the line and blared through the speaker.

Ianto groaned and rang off quickly.

Jack put a comforting hand on Ianto’s shoulder. “Well, at least they aren’t fighting or making a mess....”

Somehow, that didn’t make Ianto feel much better.

The End
 

Thank you!!!

Date: 2010-12-14 09:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] too-beauty.livejournal.com
OMG! this is brilliant!!!!! love the way you wrote it!!!! Thank you thank you!!!
Umm do you think we can ask for Tesco CCTV???
Tosh, as usual, the tech wizard!!!! and you now owe me the one about the curry!!!!

Thanks! You made my afternoon hotter!!!! and it is 34°C here!!!

xo

Re: Thank you!!!

Date: 2010-12-15 11:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Yay! I'm happy you liked it, dear!

OH NO! Now I need to think up a story for the curry...uh oh! :)

Date: 2010-12-14 09:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pinkpolyanthus.livejournal.com
Totally brilliant! Loved it! ;)

Date: 2010-12-15 11:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thank you! :-D

Date: 2010-12-14 10:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] milady-dragon.livejournal.com
*giggles*

Oh, brilliant!

Date: 2010-12-14 10:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] msemmaloo.livejournal.com
What a hoot! I needed this after the rotten day I've had. Now I'm giggling like crazy!

Date: 2010-12-15 11:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Sorry you had such a rotten day! I'm glad this helped! Thanks!

Date: 2010-12-15 11:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thanks! Hehe Happy to bring giggles!

Date: 2010-12-14 10:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pharlap1.livejournal.com
Good story

Date: 2010-12-15 11:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thank you! :)

Date: 2010-12-14 11:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thebuttonontop.livejournal.com
i read this again and fell into a giggling fit again! MUCH LOVE. this type of fic needs to happen more often. :)

Date: 2010-12-15 11:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Haha Yay! And are you trying to add to the "Things Saria Has To Write" pile again? Because it's about to topple over as it is! ;)

Date: 2010-12-15 03:10 pm (UTC)

Date: 2010-12-15 01:09 am (UTC)
bk_forever: (LOL)
From: [personal profile] bk_forever
*giggles* Saria Claus and her patented fluff actually succeeds in making me smile =) (a miracle, all things considered!)

I always knew shopping with Jack would be an adventure!

Date: 2010-12-15 11:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Oh, good! I'm glad it could bring a smile to your face! :) And yes, Jack makes anything an adventure! Thank goodness for Ianto's patience!

Date: 2010-12-15 01:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sassysailorgirl.livejournal.com
Oh, that was sooo much fun ;p Such a cute mental image of the boys shopping! And the Team back at the Hub being all furtively amused! Fantastic story, love! It distracted me from my Cold From Hell/mild flu for a while! Thanks!

Date: 2010-12-15 11:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Yay! I do hope you feel better soon, though I'm glad to return the favor of distraction! hehe thanks!

cute

Date: 2010-12-15 03:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lawford.livejournal.com
I love writing the boys shopping. They always end up in trouble.

Re: cute

Date: 2010-12-15 11:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thanks! :) Even the shopping becomes an adventure.

Date: 2010-12-15 04:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chironsgirl.livejournal.com
Snerksnerksnerksnerksnerk."That's not going to work this time." Ha!
XOXOXO

Date: 2010-12-15 11:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Hehe Thanks! :) And yeah, Jack knows better...:)

Date: 2010-12-15 11:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
:-D Thanks!

Date: 2010-12-15 05:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aviv-b.livejournal.com
Taking Jack shopping is always a recipe for disaster.

Date: 2010-12-15 11:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
It does seem to be! :)

Date: 2010-12-15 08:44 am (UTC)
ext_3966: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lone-star-woman.livejournal.com
Ianto just can't take Jack anywhere, can he?

LOL.

Date: 2010-12-15 11:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Nope...and yet he still tries, silly boy. :) Thanks!

Date: 2010-12-15 09:17 pm (UTC)
ext_581793: (Default)
From: [identity profile] babukoan.livejournal.com
Don't know how Ianto can blame them! I'd love to listen in on more of those conversations. Cute and fun! Thanks for sharing. ^_^

Date: 2010-12-15 09:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thank you! I would love to listen in, too! :)

Date: 2010-12-15 10:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] excentric397.livejournal.com
“Well, there was a lot of skin to cover.” Picture of chocolate-covered Ianto flashes immediately into brain, causing loud giggling, scaring cat. Thank you. LOL

Date: 2010-12-16 02:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Poor kitty! And thank you! I'm glad you liked! :-D

Date: 2010-12-15 11:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zazajb.livejournal.com
superb fun! xxx

Date: 2010-12-16 02:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
YAY! Glad to bring fun! Thanks, hun!

Date: 2011-09-06 10:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theeverdream.livejournal.com
Heheheheeee, so cute!!!

Date: 2011-09-18 05:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
<3 Thank you! :) I can't believe that this...is almost a year old! :D

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