sariagray: (Default)
[personal profile] sariagray
Title: If It’s Not Love, Then It’s the Bomb That Will Bring Us Together
Author: [livejournal.com profile] sariagray 
Characters/Pairings: Jack/Ianto
Word Count:
747
Rating: PG13
Spoilers: Occurs after KKBB. Everything up to that point, I suppose.
Warning: Muted angst? War references.
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood. I do not make money off of Torchwood. In fact, it seems as though Torchwood owns and makes money off of ME. This is for entertainment purposes only. NB: Title comes from "Ask" by The Smiths. And isn't it just lovely?

Author’s Note: Well. Here's a story. I've realized that I don't have plot bunnies. No. I have mood bunnies. They usually need music and candlelight to breed. *Nod* And I was going somewhere with this, but then got completely sidetracked. So. Uh. Yeah. I don't even know if I like it right now, but [livejournal.com profile] thebuttonontop assures me that it should be posted. Thanks, dear, for the support!


 
If It’s Not Love, Then It’s the Bomb That Will Bring Us Together

The wind and rain beat against the windowpane, rattling the wooden frame like a caged bird bent on escape. It was quiet but for the weather and the occasional soft slush-splat of wet snow hitting the ground.

It was ugly snow now, dirty brown and grey. It melted and refroze and melted again, all in place – pushed up against the sides of roadways. The icicles had disappeared already; one bright sunny day decimated their pretty, twinkling ranks. It had been a treacherous winter so far, but it made the landscape idyllic and that was something. Now it just looked old, tired, and unwashed.

Weeks had passed since Jack’s return.

Weeks of promises to do things the right way. But the ‘right’ way was never outlined with Torchwood in mind and, 21st Century norms or not, there was an unspoken time constraint that perpetually tightened its fascist fist around them.

Vive la France. Or something.

Ianto stretched out his legs, pointing his toes toward the end of the bed in an attempt to ease the ache that had long since settled in them.

In wartime, relationships are eked out like water from stones. They are desperate and terrifying, enemies around every corner seeking to destroy every last shard of humanity. ‘This is the last kiss’ becomes a mantra spoken by the masses, a thought to which the mind clings. Take every moment of grace offered; tomorrow may never come.

Which was, of course, why they had only lasted two days of ‘right.’ No date yet, except the one on the ever-distant horizon. The one that will take place ‘when the rift is quiet.’ Not much different from ‘when the bombs stop falling,’ really.

Jack shuffled in his sleep, inadvertently pulling Ianto closer. Having long since learned that resistance would be futile, Ianto allowed himself to be drawn in.

When we win the war.

The light-bereft room was tinted with a red glow from the alarm clock. He couldn’t see the numbers without sitting up, as Jack’s shoulder perfectly blocked the display. Perhaps it was for the best. He heard Jack’s breath hitch and then sigh, an engine turning over. Slowly, he turned his head and was met with an open eye and raised eyebrow that he could barely make out for the blackout curtain darkness.

Jack scowled as best he could with half of his face pressed into the pillow. “You’re thinking too loud again. Some of us are trying to sleep.”

“What time is it?”

Sighing, Jack turned over to check and managed to pull the entire duvet with him. If Ianto didn’t know any better, he’d have thought that it was a calculated move. “A little after three. You okay?”

“Hmm. Just couldn’t sleep.”

“Try harder.”

Ianto huffed in a cross between annoyance and amusement. Jack settled back down, facing him, and rewrapped his arm just above his waist. He pressed against Ianto as though he were eager for warmth.

“Cold?” he asked and Jack made a noncommittal hum in the back of his throat.

The silence stretched out with the arousing alarm of an air raid siren. Ianto contented himself by staring at the ceiling fan he couldn’t see. Every full rotation, there was a click as the beaded chain moved, subconsciously marking every second spent together in bed. Perhaps, instead, it was a countdown. Finally, Jack disturbed the stillness.

“I’m just…yeah. Cold.”

As if ‘cold’ were a code word. He held back a snort as the realization dawned on him; of course it was a code, adopted some time ago for the benefit of protection. He nodded slightly in affirmation and shifted his body closer to Jack’s, offering whatever ‘warmth’ he could. Jack gave a small, contented sigh.

He had no idea when it had become an inverted nuclear arms race; a race to be the last to not say the things that needed saying. Because that would clearly lead to mushroom clouds and craters in the ground and the utter demise of civilization. The constant give-and-take, done with greater cautious care than the handling of most alien artifacts, was wearying - one of them was bound to slip up eventually.

Jack nuzzled into his neck and breathed out, the warm air against his skin soothing and startling.

The way ‘I love you’ crawled tenaciously to Ianto’s lips, a parched Bedouin lost in the desert, was beyond unsettling. The way it died before finding release smacked of irony. Or perhaps just unfortunate circumstance. Coincidence.

Boom. Or something.

The End

Date: 2011-02-13 01:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] toshiani007.livejournal.com
That was lovely!!! =)

Date: 2011-02-14 12:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thanks hun, I'm glad you think so! :)

Date: 2011-02-13 02:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sassysailorgirl.livejournal.com
I have no words for how utterly fantastic that was. So them!

Date: 2011-02-14 12:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Awww, thanks! *Hugs* I'm glad you thought it was 'them'! :-D

Date: 2011-02-13 02:10 am (UTC)
lilferret: (Default)
From: [personal profile] lilferret
Wow, very powerful.

Date: 2011-02-14 12:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thank you. :)

Date: 2011-02-13 02:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thebuttonontop.livejournal.com
you know my thoughts on this. its beautiful and so utterly true.
*hugs* 'm glad you posted it....

Date: 2011-02-14 12:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thanks for the encouragement; you know how I get.

As Basil says in The Picture of Dorian Gray, "The reason I will not exhibit this picture is that I am afraid that I have shown in it the secret of my own soul....An artist should create beautiful things, but should put nothing of his own life into them."

Yes. I just quoted Oscar Wilde at you.

*Hugs*

Date: 2011-02-14 04:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thebuttonontop.livejournal.com
you can quote oscar wilde at me forever. :) lol.

Date: 2011-02-13 02:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xrai-namere.livejournal.com
This was brilliant. Loved the war references. Love is definitely not easy for the both if them.

Date: 2011-02-14 12:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thanks hun! It happened by accident - I typed "fascist fist" and then it all spiraled from there. How does that happen?

Date: 2011-02-13 02:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fansearcher.livejournal.com
An amazing piece of literature. What a pleasure to read!

Date: 2011-02-14 12:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! I don't think anything I've written has ever been referred to as "literature" before (even though yes, technically all writing is literature!). Thanks! :-D

Date: 2011-02-13 02:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] milady-dragon.livejournal.com
Gorgeous. Just gorgeous.

Date: 2011-02-14 12:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
! Thank you! *Blushing* :)

Date: 2011-02-13 03:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] too-beauty.livejournal.com
It would have been a sin not posting this! Excellent!

Date: 2011-02-14 12:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
The Eighth Deadly Sin - Not Posting Fic. ;-) "Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt post fic." lol

Thank you hun!

Date: 2011-02-13 03:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] musicaluvr.livejournal.com
This is absolutely beautiful - insightful and angsty yes, but so Ianto and Jack.

You should never hesitate again to post such insightful fics again.

Thanks for sharing <3

Date: 2011-02-14 12:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
You, dear, are far too flattering for the health of my ego! Thank you. :) I hesitate merely because nothing I do ever feels right to me until substantial time has gone by and I forget I wrote it lol. But I'm glad others appreciate it!

Date: 2011-02-14 12:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thanks! ;-)

Date: 2011-02-13 10:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] punkchick1995.livejournal.com
oh so beautiful! i loved it... so powerful and sweet all in one :) xx

Date: 2011-02-14 12:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thank you! It's hard to straddle the line of sweet and...them sometimes, so I'm glad it worked. And I'm really tickled that so many find it powerful!

Date: 2011-02-13 04:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lazy-8s.livejournal.com

Lovely angst! The comparisons of war and their relationship were very appropriate at this point. :)

Date: 2011-02-14 12:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thanks! I love the thought of lovely angst...it's definitely my adopted label for my 'genre'! "Lovely Angst: The Saria Gray Story" :)

Date: 2011-02-13 11:09 pm (UTC)
cookiegirl: (Spuffy - Believe)
From: [personal profile] cookiegirl
Very beautifully written. x

Date: 2011-02-14 12:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thank you! :)

Date: 2011-02-13 11:57 pm (UTC)
bk_forever: (You Are Mine)
From: [personal profile] bk_forever
Sweet and... I don't know! There's a sort of wry fatalism to Ianto's thoughts; he's not unhappy with the way things are, just resigned to the way Torchwood gets in the way of any attempts at normality.

I love half awake, slightly grumpy Jack who wants to snuggle - he's so cute with all his defences lowered in his half-asleep state!

Date: 2011-02-14 12:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
You always pick up on what I'm doing with words - I am so grateful for that! Ianto is not maudlin, he's realistic. Which, in Torchwood, is kind of the same thing, I think. But still. He wouldn't change the way things are.

And yeah, Jack is all "Stop thinking and snuggle me dammit." ;)

Date: 2011-02-14 12:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] withywindle01.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you did post this!

Date: 2011-02-14 12:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Aww! Thank you! :)

Date: 2011-02-14 01:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bubblebear79.livejournal.com
This was such a great story!

Date: 2011-02-14 10:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thanks, hun! I'm glad you think so! :)

yowza

Date: 2011-02-14 03:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lawford.livejournal.com
Started with a great title and just got better.

Re: yowza

Date: 2011-02-14 10:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
*Pats Morrissey on the head* Thank you! *Grin*

Date: 2011-02-14 04:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aviv-b.livejournal.com
The minute I saw the title Pat Benetar's Love is a Battlefield jumped into my head. This was simply amazing!

Date: 2011-02-14 10:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
! I should've called this "Attack of the 80s Music!" :) Thank you!

Date: 2011-02-14 07:22 am (UTC)
ext_3966: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lone-star-woman.livejournal.com
Oh...

Glad you posted this. It deserves to be read.

Date: 2011-02-14 10:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm surprised it seems to have gone over so well, but very pleased! :)

Date: 2011-02-14 07:00 pm (UTC)
ext_49452: (Default)
From: [identity profile] analineblue.livejournal.com
Oh wow, I loved this, and I'm so, so glad you decided to post it. :) I'm a big fan of mood fics, and this created a really lovely one. It's just a perfect analogy/metaphor/whatever for them. <3 And the end was amazing~ *__*

Date: 2011-02-14 09:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
Y'all need to stop feeding my ego! It's going to need WeightWatchers soon! :) Thanks, hun! I'm glad you liked it. It was...almost The Smiths songfic? Hehe

Date: 2011-02-14 09:40 pm (UTC)
ext_49452: (Default)
From: [identity profile] analineblue.livejournal.com
...Question: If we keep feeding the ego, will we get more fic? Because... I like fic. :D :D :D

Date: 2011-02-15 02:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nancybrown.livejournal.com
I loved the imagery in this. :)

Date: 2011-02-15 09:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com
:) Thank you!

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