Happy Easter. Sort of.
Apr. 23rd, 2011 05:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sariagrayI have a love of Jesus Christ Superstar. It's my father's favorite musical and I've sort of adopted it as one of my own, as well. He and I like it for similar reasons, too, and it's something over which we've been able to bond.
So of course my brain made me need to Torchwoodify it. These are my extensive (hardly!) notes on the fic/video/something I may well be creating. And all of the lyrics. The version I listen to, which includes ALICE COOPER, can be found here: Jesus Christ Superstar, 2006. It is, by far, the best version I have ever heard. You can do the little previewy things (I can't find YouTube videos for these songs, sadly).
Not Shown: Meanwhile, Jack has come back from a meeting with < insert group with whom Jack is meeting here > and the team has gathered around him. He's tired, drawn, and a bit frustrated as the meeting most likely did not go too well. Obviously, the team can hardly resist bugging him endlessly. (Again, pronouns and whatnot will need to be changed. For most of these songs, actually. Ah, well).
Team
What's the buzz
Tell me what's a-happening (repeated lots)
Jack
Why should you want to know?
Don't you mind about the future
Don't you try to think ahead
Save tomorrow for tomorrow
Think about today instead
I could give you facts and figures
I could give you plans and forecasts
Even tell you where I'm going
Team
When do we
Ride to Jerusalem? (repeated lots)
Jack
Why should you want to know
Why are you obsessed with fighting
Times and fates you can't defy?
If you knew the path we're riding
You'd understand it less than I
Team
What's the buzz
Tell me what's happening (still being repeated)
Ianto
Let me try
To cool down your face a bit (repeated a bunch of times)
Jack
Mary! Oh, that is good!
While you prattle through your supper
Where and when and who and how
She alone has tried to give me
What I need right here and now
Team
What's the buzz
Tell me what's happening (they keep repeating these things, huh?)
John
It seems to me a strange thing
Mystifying
That a man like you
Can waste his time
On such a concubine
Yes, I can understand that she amuses
But to let her stroke you
Kiss your hair
Is hardly in your line
It's not that I object
To her profession
But it doesn't fit in well
With what you teach or say
It doesn't help
If you're inconsistant
They only need a small excuse
To put us all away
Jack
Who are you
To criticize her?
Who are you
To despise her?
Leave her, leave her
Let her be now
Leave her, leave her
She's with me now
If your slate is clean
Then you can throw stones
If your slate is not
Then leave her alone!
I'm amazed that men like you
Can be so shallow, thick, and slow
There is not a man among you
Who knows or cares if I come or go
Team, except John
No you are wrong
You're very wrong
How can you say that!
How can you say that!
Jack
Not one, not one of you!
Jack flees to his office and slams the door. This gives Ianto time to bring Jack coffee and serenade him (as is the obvious cure for what troublesJesus Jack). Ignore the bits on myrrh and perfume. Ianto's giving Jack coffee. Maybe also sleeping with him. You know, the usual stuff. But then John bursts in and ruins the moment. Of course.
Cardiff, however, is getting a bit rowdy with this pending First Contact bit. Crazy, even. Lyrics here will need to be changed a lot, but oh well. You get the gist of it. They're gathered on the Plass, being...ridiculous.
If there is a way
Take this cup away from me
For I don't want to taste its poison
Feel it burn me,
I have changed I'm not as sure
As when we started
Then I was inspired
Now I'm sad and tired
Listen surely I've exceeded
Expectations
Tried for three years
Seems like thirty
Could you ask as much
From any other man?
But if I die
See the saga through
And do the things you ask of me
Let them hate me, hit me, hurt me
Nail me to their tree
I'd want to know
I'd want to know my God
I'd want to know
I'd want to know my God
I'd want to see
I'd want to see my God
I'd want to see
I'd want to see my God
Why I should die
Would I be more noticed
Than I ever was before?
Would the things I've said and done
Matter any more?
I'd have to know
I'd have to know my Lord
I'd have to know
I'd have to know my Lord
I'd have to see
I'd have to see my Lord
I'd have to see
I'd have to see my Lord
If I die what will be my reward?
If I die what will be my reward?
I'd have to know
I'd have to know my Lord
I'd have to know
I'd have to know my Lord
Why, why should I die?
Oh, why should I die?
Can you show me now
That I would not be killed in vain?
Show me just a little
Of your omnipresent brain
Show me there's a reason
For your wanting me to die
You're far too keen on where and how
But not so hot on why
Alright I'll die!
Just watch me die!
See how, see how I die!
Oh, just watch me die!
Then I was inspired
Now I'm sad and tired
After all I've tried for three years
Seems like ninety
Why then am I scared
To finish what I started
What you started
I didn't start it
God thy will is hard
But you hold every card
I will drink your cup of poison
Nail me to your cross and break me
Bleed me, beat me
Kill me, take me now
Before I change my mind
They're all asleep, the fools
Jack
Judas, must you betray me
With a kiss?
Gwen/Team
What's the buzz
Tell me what's happening
Hang on Lord
We're gonna fight for you
Jack
Put away your sword
Don't you know that it's all over
It was nice but now it's gone
Why are you obsessed with fighting?
Stick to fishing from now on
Reporters on the Plass
Tell me Christ how you feel tonight
Do you plan to put up a fight?
Do you feel that you've had the breaks?
What would you say were your big mistakes?
Do you think that you may retire?
Did you think you would get much higher?
How do you view your coming trial?
Have your men proved all worthwhile?
Things are not going well for Jack. And yeah, I know I'm neglecting the alien invasion, but that doesn't matter now, okay? ;) I have a lot of stuff that needs to be ironed out with this. Gah. So anyway, the team are now stunned, on the Plass, with a few citizens as Jack's being led away. There's nothing for them to do, as everyone has seemed to turn against them.
Cardiff Resident 1
I think I've seen you somewhere.
I remember.
You were with that man they took away.
I recognize your face.
Gwen
You've got the wrong man lady.
I don't know him,
And I wasn't where he was tonight
Never near the place.
Cardiff Resident 2
That's strange, for I am sure I saw you with with him.
You were right by his side, and yet you denied.
Gwen
I tell you I was never with him.
Cardiff Resident 3
But I saw you too.
He looked just like you.
Gwen
I don't know him!
Ianto
Peter, don't you know what you have said.
You've gone and cut him dead.
Gwen
I had to do it, don't you see?
Or else they'd go for me.
Ianto
It's what he told us you would do.
I wonder how he knew.
Well.
Ten
Who is this broken man, cluttering up my hallway?
Who is this unfortunate? On to UNIT for Jack.
You've been getting quite a name all around the place.
Healing cripples, raising from the dead.
And now I understand you're God,
At least, that's what you've said.
So, you are the Christ, you're the great Jesus Christ.
Prove to me that you're divine; change my water into wine.
That's all you need do, then I'll know it's all true.
Come on, King of the Jews.
Jesus, you just won't believe the hit you've made around here.
You are all we talk about, the wonder of the year.
Oh what a pity if it's all a lie.
Still, I'm sure that you can rock the cynics if you tried.
So, you are the Christ, you're the great Jesus Christ.
Prove to me that you're no fool; walk across my swimming pool.
If you do that for me, then I'll let you go free.
Come on, King of the Jews.
I only ask what I'd ask any superstar.
What is it that you have got that puts you where you are.
I am waiting, yes I'm a captive fan.
I'm dying to be shown that you are not just any man.
So, if you are the Christ, yes the great Jesus Christ
Feed my household with this bread.
You can do it on your head.
Or has something gone wrong. Jesus, why do you take so long?
Oh come on, King of the Jews.
Hey! Aren't you scared of me Christ?
Mr. Wonderful Christ?
You're a joke. You're not the Lord.
You are nothing but a fraud.
Take him away.
He's got nothing to say!
Get out you King of the,
Get out King of the,
Oh get out you King of the Jews!
Get out of here!
Get out of here you,
Get out of my life.
Now John is starting to feel guilty and meets with The Anti-Harkness Club. This is where we really feel bad for John. Or at least, I do.
Now that John has killed himself, we go back to Pilate. This is the fun part. Bear in mind, the version I saw has Mary Magdalene (Ianto) watching as Jesus (Jack) is whipped by Pilate (the Doctor). There's a fic in just that, alone. This is...not really the sole reason I wanted to do this, but yeah, it's part of it. Yeah, it's a bit OOC, but shush. ;) It's really because I don't know who else I can make Pilate.
And why is this? Was Herod unimpressed?
Mayor
We turn to Rome to sentence Nazareth.
We have no law to put a man to death.
We need him crucified.
It's all you have to do.
We need him crucified.
It's all you have to do.
Ten
Talk to me Jesus Christ.
You have been brought here
Manacled, beaten by your own people.
Do you have the first idea why you deserve it?
Listen King of the Jews,
Where is your kingdom?
Look at me. Am I a Jew?
Jack
I have no kingdom in this world.
I'm through.
There may be a kingdom for me somewhere.
If I only knew.
Ten
Then you are a king?
Jack
Why you let the things you did get so out of hand.
You'd have managed better if you'd had it planned.
Why'd you choose such a backward time in such a strange land?
If you'd come today you could have reached a whole nation.
Israel in 4 BC had no mass communication.
Don't you get me wrong.
I only want to know.
Choir of...Angels or Time Agents?
Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ,
Who are you? What have you sacrificed?
Jesus Christ Superstar,
Do you think you're what they say you are?
Judas
Tell me what you think about your friends at the top.
Who'd you think besides yourself's the pick of the crop?
Buddha, was he where it's at? Is he where you are?
Could Mohammed move a mountain, or was that just PR?
Did you mean to die like that? Was that a mistake, or
Did you know your messy death would be a record breaker?
Don't you get me wrong.
I only want to know.
Choir
Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ,
Who are you? What have you sacrificed?
Jesus Christ Superstar,
Do you think you're what they say you are?
The version I saw had Judas dressed as...Elvis. Which was pretty hilarious, but...dumb. So John will be dressed as John. Finally, Jack is crucified. Ianto is there. So are Gwen and the team. And it's sad.
They don't know what they're doing
Who is my mother?
Where is my mother?
My God
My God
Why have you forgotten me?
I'm thirsty
I'm thirsty
Oh God I'm thirsty
It is finished
Father
Into your hands
I command my spirit
And that, folks, is the end. Well, no. Because then Jack comes back and life at TW goes on and I don't know. Stuff happens.
So of course my brain made me need to Torchwoodify it. These are my extensive (hardly!) notes on the fic/video/something I may well be creating. And all of the lyrics. The version I listen to, which includes ALICE COOPER, can be found here: Jesus Christ Superstar, 2006. It is, by far, the best version I have ever heard. You can do the little previewy things (I can't find YouTube videos for these songs, sadly).
Cast List:
Jesus - Jack
Judas - John
Judas - John
Peter - Gwen
Simon - Owen
Other Apostles - Tosh, Suzie
Mary Magdalene - Ianto (yeah, I went there)
Pilate - Ten or Eleven (I'm having a hard time with this one)
Caiaphas - Cardiff...mayor, is it?
Annas - Kathy Swanson?
Herod - Head of UNIT, or some such
Jerusalem/Lepers/etc - Cardiff and its citizens
Not Shown:
God - The Doctor, in general
Virgin Mary - Rose
In my head, this takes place after Jack comes back from TYTNW. We start with the Overture, of course, which is utterly incredible, and in my head would show clips and bits from TYTNW and the previous season. With me so far? Good.
So then we have Jack and the team in the Hub after Jack's return (this is not KKBB, but later). But guess who else is there, lurking in the shadows? John Hart. Who has quasi joined the team as a freelance agent. Because I love him so dearly. Anyway, Cardiff is under the thumb of a tough governmental regime and also facing the threat of alien invasion. Of course, the Gov't is also trying to find a reason to disband Torchwood - they're a bunch of rogue operatives who make them look bad, after all.
So then we have John's/Judas's song, which serves to illustrate where the team is now. In this, I would change things like "Jesus" to "Harkness" or something. And some of the words would, obviously need to be changed. Like, Nazareth.
In my head, this takes place after Jack comes back from TYTNW. We start with the Overture, of course, which is utterly incredible, and in my head would show clips and bits from TYTNW and the previous season. With me so far? Good.
So then we have Jack and the team in the Hub after Jack's return (this is not KKBB, but later). But guess who else is there, lurking in the shadows? John Hart. Who has quasi joined the team as a freelance agent. Because I love him so dearly. Anyway, Cardiff is under the thumb of a tough governmental regime and also facing the threat of alien invasion. Of course, the Gov't is also trying to find a reason to disband Torchwood - they're a bunch of rogue operatives who make them look bad, after all.
So then we have John's/Judas's song, which serves to illustrate where the team is now. In this, I would change things like "Jesus" to "Harkness" or something. And some of the words would, obviously need to be changed. Like, Nazareth.
John
My mind is clearer now.
My mind is clearer now.
At last all too well
I can see where we all soon will be.
If you strip away the myth from the man,
You will see where we all soon will be.
Jesus! You've started to believe
Jesus! You've started to believe
The things they say of you.
You really do believe
This talk of God is true.
And all the good you've done
Will soon get swept away.
You've begun to matter more
Than the things you say.
Listen Jesus, I don't like what I see.
All I ask is that you listen to me.
And remember, I've been your right hand man all along.
You have set them all on fire.
They think they've found the new Messiah.
And they'll hurt you when they find they're wrong.
I remember when this whole thing began.
No talk of God then, we called you a man.
And believe me, my admiration for you hasn't died.
But every word you say today
Gets twisted 'round some other way.
And they'll hurt you if they think you've lied.
Nazareth, your famous son should have stayed a great unknown
Like his father carving wood, he'd have made good.
Tables, chairs, and oaken chests would have suited Jesus best.
He'd have caused nobody harm; no one alarm.
Listen, Jesus, do you care for your race?
Don't you see we must keep in our place?
We are occupied; have you forgotten how put down we are?
And our conquerers object
To another noisy sect.
To another noisy sect.
And they'll crush us if we go too far.
If we go too far....
Listen, Jesus, to the warning I give.
Please remember that I want us to live.
But it's sad to see our chances weakening with every hour.
All your followers are blind.
Too much heaven on their minds.
It was beautiful, but now it's sour.
Yes it's all gone sour.
Listen, Jesus, to the warning I give.
Please remember that I want us to live.
So listen, Jesus, to the warning I give.
I just want us to live.
It's all gone sour.
I just want us to live.
It's all gone sour.
Team
What's the buzz
Tell me what's a-happening (repeated lots)
Jack
Why should you want to know?
Don't you mind about the future
Don't you try to think ahead
Save tomorrow for tomorrow
Think about today instead
I could give you facts and figures
I could give you plans and forecasts
Even tell you where I'm going
Team
When do we
Ride to Jerusalem? (repeated lots)
Jack
Why should you want to know
Why are you obsessed with fighting
Times and fates you can't defy?
If you knew the path we're riding
You'd understand it less than I
Team
What's the buzz
Tell me what's happening (still being repeated)
Ianto
Let me try
To cool down your face a bit (repeated a bunch of times)
Jack
Mary! Oh, that is good!
While you prattle through your supper
Where and when and who and how
She alone has tried to give me
What I need right here and now
Team
What's the buzz
Tell me what's happening (they keep repeating these things, huh?)
John
It seems to me a strange thing
Mystifying
That a man like you
Can waste his time
On such a concubine
Yes, I can understand that she amuses
But to let her stroke you
Kiss your hair
Is hardly in your line
It's not that I object
To her profession
But it doesn't fit in well
With what you teach or say
It doesn't help
If you're inconsistant
They only need a small excuse
To put us all away
Jack
Who are you
To criticize her?
Who are you
To despise her?
Leave her, leave her
Let her be now
Leave her, leave her
She's with me now
If your slate is clean
Then you can throw stones
If your slate is not
Then leave her alone!
I'm amazed that men like you
Can be so shallow, thick, and slow
There is not a man among you
Who knows or cares if I come or go
Team, except John
No you are wrong
You're very wrong
How can you say that!
How can you say that!
Jack
Not one, not one of you!
Jack flees to his office and slams the door. This gives Ianto time to bring Jack coffee and serenade him (as is the obvious cure for what troubles
Ianto
Try not to get worried, try not to turn on to
Problems that upset you, oh.
Don't you know
Everything's alright, yes, everything's fine.
And we want you to sleep well tonight.
Let the world turn without you tonight.
If we try, we'll get by, so forget all about us tonight
Sleep and I shall soothe you, calm you, and anoint you.
Myrrh for your hot forehead, oh.
Then you'll feel
Everything's alright, yes, everything's fine.
And it's cool, and the ointment's sweet
For the fire in your head and feet.
Close your eyes, close your eyes
And relax, think of nothing tonight.
John
Woman your fine ointment, brand new and expensive
Should have been saved for the poor.
Why has it been wasted? We could have raised maybe
Three hundred silver pieces or more.
People who are hungry, people who are starving
They matter more than your feet and hair!
Ianto
Try not to get worried, try not to turn on to
Problems that upset you, oh.
Don't you know
Jack
Surely you're not saying we have the resources
To save the poor from their lot?
There will be poor always, pathetically struggling.
Look at the good things you've got.
Think while you still have me!
Move while you still see me!
You'll be lost, and you'll be sorry when I'm gone.
Ianto
Sleep and I shall soothe you, calm you and anoint you.
Myrrh for your hot forehead/
Then you'll feel
Everything's alright, yes, everything's fine.
And it's cool and the ointment's sweet
For the fire in your head and feet.
Close your eyes, close your eyes, and relax
Think of nothing tonight.
Close your eyes, close your eyes, and relax
John leaves in a bit of a huff and Ianto and Jack disappear into his bunker for sexy fun. Or something. Meanwhile, the upper echelons of Cardiff government meet (the Mayor or whatever, DI Swanson, some others). They need to get rid of Jack because, as they feel, without him Torchwood will fall and the populous will start to listen to them. The Twenty First Century and all, and they're preparing for war and/or to make themselves look good for First Contact. Kind of like COE.
Mayor's PA
Good Caiaphas, the council waits for you.
The Pharisees and priests are here for you.
Mayor
Ah gentlemen, you know why we are here.
We've not much time, and quite a problem here
Cardiff People
Hosanna! Superstar!
Hosanna! Superstar!
Hosanna! Superstar!
Hosanna! Superstar!
Swanson
Listen to that howling mob of blockheads in the street!
A trick or two with lepers, and the whole town's on its feet.
Anti-Harkness Club
He is dangerous!
Cardiff People
Jesus Christ Superstar!
Anti-Harkness Club
He is dangerous!
Cardiff People
Tell us that you're who they say you are.
Council Member 1
The man is in town right now to whip up some support.
Council Member 2
A rabble rousing mission that I think we must abort.
Anti-Harkness Club
He is dangerous!
Cardiff People
Jesus Christ Superstar!
Anti-Harkness Club
He is dangerous!
Council Member 2
Look Caiaphas, they're right outside our yard.
Council Member 3
Quick Caiaphas, go call the Roman guard.
Mayor
No, wait!
We need a more permanent solution to our problem.
Swanson
What then to do about Jesus of Nazareth?
Miracle wonderman, hero of fools.
Council Member 3
No riots, no army, no fighting, no slogans.
Mayor
Infantile sermons, the multitude drool.
Swanson
We dare not leave him to his own devices.
His half-witted fans will get out of control.
Council Members
But how can we stop him?
His glamour increases
By leaps every moment; he's top of the poll.
Mayor
I see bad things arising.
The crowd crown him king; which the Romans would ban.
I see blood and destruction,
Our elimination because of one man.
Blood and destruction because of one man.
Anti-Harkness Club
Because, because, because of one man.
Mayor
Our elimination because of one man.
Anti-Harkness Club
Because, because, because of one, 'cause of one, 'cause of one man.
Council Member 3
What then to do about this Jesus-mania?
Swanson
Now how to we deal with a carpenter king?
Council
Where do we start with a man who is bigger
Than John was when John did his baptism thing?
Mayor
Fools, you have no perception!
The stake we are gambling are frighteningly high!
We must crush him completely,
So like John before him, this Jesus must die.
For the sake of the nation, this Jesus must die.
AHC
Must die, must die, this Jesus must die.
Mayor
So like John before him, this Jesus must die.
AHC
Must die, must die, this Jesus must, Jesus must, Jesus must die!
Well, that was lovely. The plot thickens. The Mayor is probably the Master in disguise. But the people of Cardiff are relatively happy with Torchwood (okay, this is AU, leave me alone).
Cardiff People
Hosanna Heysanna Sanna Sanna Ho
Sanna Hey Sanna Ho Sanna
Hey J C, J C won't you smile at me?
Sanna Ho Sanna Hey Superstar
Mayor
Tell the rabble to be quiet
We anticipate a riot
This common crowd
Is much too loud
Tell the mob who sing your song
That they are fools and they are wrong
They are a curse
They should disperse
Jack
Why waste your breath moaning at the crowd?
Nothing can be done to stop the shouting
If ev'ry tongue was still the noise would still continue
The rocks and stones themselves would start to sing:
Cardiff People
Hosanna Heysanna Sanna Sanna Ho
Sanna Hey Sanna Ho Sanna
Hey J C, J C won't you fight for me?
Cardiff People
Hosanna Heysanna Sanna Sanna Ho
Sanna Hey Sanna Ho Sanna
Hey J C, J C you're alright by me
Sanna Ho Sanna Hey Superstar
Jack
Sing me your songs,
But not for me alone.
Sing out for yourselves,
For you are bless-ed.
There is not one of you
Who cannot win the kingdom.
The slow, the suffering,
The quick, the dead.
Cardiff
Hosanna
Hey Sanna Sanna Sanna Hosanna
Hey Sanna Hosanna
Hey JC, JC won't you die for me?
Sanna Hosanna Hey Superstar
Owen then approaches Jack to speak with him about their predicament. Tosh has picked up something or other on the rift predictor. It's far off, but there's something coming. And it doesn't look good. They have to be ready. Owen thinks that, with the populous behind them, they stand a fighting chance.
Cardiff
Christ, you know I love you. Did you see I waved?
I believe in you and God, so, tell me that I'm saved.
Christ, you know I love you. Did you see I waved?
I believe in you and God, so, tell me that I'm saved.
Jesus, I am with you. Touch me, touch me, Jesus.
Jesus, I am on your side. Kiss me, kiss me, Jesus.
Owen
Christ, what more do you need to convince you,
That you've made it, and you're easily as strong
As the filth from Rome who rape our country,
And who've terrorized our people for so long.
Cardiff
Christ, you know I love you. Did you see I waved?
I believe in you and God, so, tell me that I'm saved.
Christ, you know I love you. Did you see I waved?
I believe in you and God, so, tell me that I'm saved.
Jesus, I am with you. Touch me, touch me, Jesus.
Jesus, I am on your side. Kiss me, kiss me, Jesus.
Owen
There must be over fifty thousand screaming love and more for you.
And everyone of fifty thousand would do whatever you asked him to.
Well, keep them yelling their devotion. Make sure they're all hating Rome.
You will rise to a greater power. We will win ourselves a home.
You'll get the power and glory forever and ever and ever.
You'll get the power and glory forever and ever and ever.
You'll get the power and glory forever and ever and ever.
You'll get the power and the glory forever and ever.
Forever and ever. You'll get the power and the glory forever and ever.
((Forever, amen!))
Jack
Neither you, Simon, nor the fifty thousand, nor the Romans, nor the Jews,
Nor Judas, nor the twelve, nor the priests, nor the scribes,
Nor doomed Jerusalem itself, understand what power is,
Understand what glory is, understand at all, understand at all.
If you knew all that I knew, my poor Jerusalem,
You'd see the truth, but you'd live a lie. But you'd live a lie.
While you live, your troubles are many, poor Jerusalem.
Elsewhere in the universe, the Doctor is flying in his Tardis. And he has a dream. And it confuses him a great deal.
Ten
I dreamed I met a Galilean
A most amazing man
He had that look
You very rarely find
The haunting hunted kind
I asked him
To say what had happened
How it all began
I asked again
He never said a word
As if he hadn't heard
And next the room was full
Of wild and angry men
They seemed to hate this man
They fell on him and then disappeared
Then I saw thousands of millions
Crying for this man
And then I heard them mentioning my name
And leaving me the blame
Cardiff, however, is getting a bit rowdy with this pending First Contact bit. Crazy, even. Lyrics here will need to be changed a lot, but oh well. You get the gist of it. They're gathered on the Plass, being...ridiculous.
Cardiff
Roll on up Jerusalem,
Come on in Jerusalem,
Sunday here we go again,
Live in me Jerusalem.
Here you live Jerusalem,
Here you breathe Jerusalem,
While your temple still survives,
You at least are still alive.
I got things you won't believe,
Name your pleasure I will sell.
I can fix your wildest needs,
I got heaven and I got hell.
Roll on up, for my price is down.
Come on in for the best in town.
Take your pick of the finest wine.
Lay your bets on this bird of mine.
What you see is what you get.
No one's been disappointed yet.
Don't be scared give me a try,
There is nothing you can't buy.
Name your price, I got everything.
Hurry it's going fast.
Borrow cash on the finest terms.
Hurry now while stocks still last.
Roll on up Jerusalem,
Come on in Jerusalem,
Sunday here we go again,
Live in me Jerusalem.
Here you live Jerusalem,
Here you breathe Jerusalem,
While your temple still survives,
You at least are still alive.
I got things you won't believe,
Name your pleasure I will sell.
I can fix your
(fade, screaming)
Jack
My temple should be a house of prayer,
But you have made it a den of thieves.
Get out! Get out!
My time is almost through.
Little left to do.
After all, I've tried for three years.
Seems like thirty, seems like thirty.
Cardiff
See my eyes, I can hardly see.
See me stand, I can hardly walk.
I believe you can make me whole.
See my tongue, I can hardly talk.
See my skin, I'm a mass of blood.
See my legs, I can hardly stand.
I believe you can make me well.
See my purse, I'm a poor, poor man.
Will you touch, will you mend me Christ?
Won't you touch, will you heal me Christ?
Will you kiss, you can cure me Christ?
Won't you kiss, won't you pay me Christ?
See my eyes, I can hardly see.
See me stand, I can hardly walk.
I believe you can make me whole.
See my tongue, I can hardly talk.
See my skin, I'm a mass of blood.
See my legs, I can hardly stand.
I believe you can make me well.
See my purse, I'm a poor, poor man.
Will you touch, will you mend me Christ?
Won't you touch, will you heal me Christ?
Will you kiss, you can cure me Christ?
Won't you kiss, won't you pay me Christ?
Jack
There's too many of you...Don't push me.
There's too little of me...Don't crowd me.
Heal yourselves!
Poor Jack. But Ianto is there to offer comfort, of course. By probably shagging him. Still, Ianto's having a hard time wrapping his head around Jack and their relationship and he muses on this while Jack sleeps.
Ianto
Try not to get worried
Try not to turn on to
Problems that upset you
Well, don't you know
Everything's all right
Yes, Everything's fine
Jack
And I think I shall sleep well tonight
Let the world turn without me tonight
Ianto
Close your eyes
Close your eyes
And forget all about us tonight
I don't know how to love him.
What to do, how to move him.
I've been changed, yes really changed.
In these past few days, when I've seen myself,
I seem like someone else.
I don't know how to take this.
I don't see why he moves me.
He's a man. He's just a man.
And I've had so many men before,
In very many ways,
He's just one more.
Should I bring him down?
Should I scream and shout?
Should I speak of love,
Let my feelings out?
I never thought I'd come to this.
What's it all about?
Don't you think it's rather funny,
I should be in this position.
I'm the one who's always been
So calm, so cool, no lover's fool,
Running every show.
He scares me so.
I never thought I'd come to this.
What's it all about?
Yet, if he said he loved me,
I'd be lost. I'd be frightened.
I couldn't cope, just couldn't cope.
I'd turn my head. I'd back away.
I wouldn't want to know.
He scares me so.
I want him so.
I love him so.
Awwww. Poor Ianto. (Sorry...imagining Ianto singing this song makes me dissolve into giggle fits). But while Jack's sleeping and Ianto's being introspective, John Hart has a secret meeting with the Anti-Harkness Club.
John
Now if I help you, it matters that you see
These sordid kinda things are coming hard to me.
It's taken me some time to work out what to do.
I weighed the whole thing out before I came to you.
I have no thought at all about my own reward.
I really didn't come here of my own accord.
Just don't say I'm ... damned for all time.
I came because I had to; I'm the one who saw.
Jesus can't control it like he did before.
And furthermore I know that Jesus thinks so too.
Jesus wouldn't mind that I was here with you.
I have no thought at all about my own reward.
I really didn't come here of my own accord.
Just don't say I'm ... damned for all time.
Annas, you're a friend, a worldly man and wise.
Caiaphas, my friend, I know you sympathise.
Why are we the prophets? Why are we the ones
Who see the sad solution - know what must be done?
I have no thought at all about my own reward.
I really didn't come here of my own accord.
Just don't say I'm damned for all time.
Swanson
Cut the protesting, forget the excuses.
We want information. Get up of the floor.
Mayor
We have the papers we need to arrest him.
You know his movements. We know the law.
Swanson
Your help in this matter won't go unrewarded.
Mayor
We'll pay you in silver, cash on the nail.
We just need to know where the soldiers can find him.
Swanson
With no crowd around him.
Mayor
Then we can't fail.
John
I don't want your blood money!
Mayor
Oh, that doesn't matter, our expenses are good.
John
I don't need your blood money!
Swanson
But you might as well take it. We think that you should.
Mayor
Think of the things you could do with that money,
Choose any charity - give to the poor.
We've noted your motives.
We've noted your feelings.
This isn't blood money - it's a fee nothing more.
John
On Thursday night you'll find him where you want him.
Far from the crowds, in the Garden of Gethsemane.
That's the end of Act I. Act II commences with the team hanging out in the pub.
Team
Look at all my trials and tribulations
Sinking in a gentle pool of wine.
Don't disturb me now, I can see the answers
'Till this evening is this morning, life is fine.
Always hoped that I'd be an apostle.
Knew that I would make it if I tried.
Then when we retire, we can write the Gospels,
So they'll still talk about us when we've died.
Jack
The end...is just a little harder, when brought about by friends.
For all you care, this wine could be my blood.
For all you care, this bread could be my body.
The end! This is my blood you drink.
This is my body you eat.
If you would remember me when you eat and drink.
I must be mad thinking I'll be remembered.
Yes, I must be out of my head.
Look at your blank faces. My name will mean nothing
Ten minutes after I'm dead.
One of you denies me.
One of you betrays me.
Team
No! Who would?! Impossible!
Jack
Peter will deny my in just a few hours.
Three times will deny me,
And that's not all I see.
One of you here dining,
One of my twelve chosen
Will leave to betray me.
John
Cut the dramatics!
You know very well who.
Jack
Why don't you go do it?
John
You want me to do it!
Jack
Hurry, they are waiting.
John
If you knew why I do it
Jack
I don't care why you do it!
John
To think I admired you.
Well now I despise you.
Jack
You liar. You Judas.
John
You want me to do it!
What if I just stayed here
And ruined your ambition.
Christ you deserve it.
Jack
Hurry, you fool. Hurry and go.
Save me your speeches,
I don't want to know. Go!
Team
Look at all my trials and tribulations
Sinking in a gentle pool of wine.
What's that in the bread? It's gone to my head,
'Till this morning is this evening, life is fine.
Always hoped that I'd be an apostle.
Knew that I would make it if I tried.
Then when we retire, we can write the Gospels,
So they'll all talk about us when we've died.
John
You sad, pathetic man, see where you've brought us to,
Our ideals die around us and all because of you.
But the saddest cut of all:
Someone has to turn you in.
Like a common criminal, like a wounded animal.
A jaded mandarin,
A jaded mandarin,
Like a jaded, faded, faded, jaded, jaded mandarin.
Jack
Get out they're waiting! Get out!
They're waiting, Oh, they are waiting for you!
John
Every time I look at you I don't understand
Why you let the things you did get so out of hand.
You'd have managed better if you had it planned...
Oh....
Team
Always hoped that I'd be an apostle.
Knew that I would make it if I tried.
Then when we retire, we can write the Gospels,
So they'll still talk about us when we've died.
Jack
Will no one stay awake with me?
Peter, John, James?
Will none of you wait with me?
Peter, John, James?
So Jack departs to a rooftop. And sings to the Doctor. Yes. No, the Doctor is not there, and it's the Doctor as a symbol, not...Pilate. Who Jack has not yet met. Hey, it works in my head. And when you read the lyrics/listen to the song thinking of Jack singing to the Doctor? Yeah. I get teary-eyed. In this song, bear in mind - I plan to change the words "die" to "live." Muahaha.
Jack
I only want to sayIf there is a way
Take this cup away from me
For I don't want to taste its poison
Feel it burn me,
I have changed I'm not as sure
As when we started
Then I was inspired
Now I'm sad and tired
Listen surely I've exceeded
Expectations
Tried for three years
Seems like thirty
Could you ask as much
From any other man?
But if I die
See the saga through
And do the things you ask of me
Let them hate me, hit me, hurt me
Nail me to their tree
I'd want to know
I'd want to know my God
I'd want to know
I'd want to know my God
I'd want to see
I'd want to see my God
I'd want to see
I'd want to see my God
Why I should die
Would I be more noticed
Than I ever was before?
Would the things I've said and done
Matter any more?
I'd have to know
I'd have to know my Lord
I'd have to know
I'd have to know my Lord
I'd have to see
I'd have to see my Lord
I'd have to see
I'd have to see my Lord
If I die what will be my reward?
If I die what will be my reward?
I'd have to know
I'd have to know my Lord
I'd have to know
I'd have to know my Lord
Why, why should I die?
Oh, why should I die?
Can you show me now
That I would not be killed in vain?
Show me just a little
Of your omnipresent brain
Show me there's a reason
For your wanting me to die
You're far too keen on where and how
But not so hot on why
Alright I'll die!
Just watch me die!
See how, see how I die!
Oh, just watch me die!
Then I was inspired
Now I'm sad and tired
After all I've tried for three years
Seems like ninety
Why then am I scared
To finish what I started
What you started
I didn't start it
God thy will is hard
But you hold every card
I will drink your cup of poison
Nail me to your cross and break me
Bleed me, beat me
Kill me, take me now
Before I change my mind
And then Jack goes back to the Hub, where the team is passed out sleeping around the Hub. John comes with the force of the police behind him. Yes, Andy's there. In case you were wondering. Not that he has any lines, but he's there. ;) And we see that Cardiff has turned on Jack and Torchwood.
John
There he isThey're all asleep, the fools
Jack
Judas, must you betray me
With a kiss?
Gwen/Team
What's the buzz
Tell me what's happening
Hang on Lord
We're gonna fight for you
Jack
Put away your sword
Don't you know that it's all over
It was nice but now it's gone
Why are you obsessed with fighting?
Stick to fishing from now on
Reporters on the Plass
Tell me Christ how you feel tonight
Do you plan to put up a fight?
Do you feel that you've had the breaks?
What would you say were your big mistakes?
Do you think that you may retire?
Did you think you would get much higher?
How do you view your coming trial?
Have your men proved all worthwhile?
Cardiff PCs
Come with us to see Caiaphas
You'll just love the high priest's house
You'll just love seeing Caiaphas
You'll just die in the high priest's house
Come with us to see Caiaphas
You'll just love the high priest's house
You'll just love seeing Caiaphas
You'll just die in the high priest's house
Team
Come on God this is not like you
Let us know what you're gonna do
You know what your supporters feel
You'll escape in the final reel
Let us know what you're gonna do
You know what your supporters feel
You'll escape in the final reel
More Reporters
Tell me Christ how you feel tonight
Do you plan to put up a fight?
Do you feel that you've had the breaks?
What would you say were your big mistakes?
Cardiff PCs
Come with us to see Caiaphas
You just love the high priest's house
You just love seeing Caiaphas
You'll just die in the high priest's house
Tell me Christ how you feel tonight
Do you plan to put up a fight?
Do you feel that you've had the breaks?
What would you say were your big mistakes?
Cardiff PCs
Come with us to see Caiaphas
You just love the high priest's house
You just love seeing Caiaphas
You'll just die in the high priest's house
Cardiff People, etc.
Now we have him, now we got him
Now we have him, now we got him
Mayor
Jesus you must realize
The serious charges facing you
You say you're the son of God
In all your handouts
Well is it true?
Jack
That's what you say
You say that I am
Swanson
Now that we have the gentleman
What more evidence do we need?
Judas, thank you for the victim
Stay a while and you'll see him bleed!
Cardiff
Now we have him, now we got him
Take him to Pilate, take him to Pilate!
Now we have him, now we got him
Now we have him, now we got him
Mayor
Jesus you must realize
The serious charges facing you
You say you're the son of God
In all your handouts
Well is it true?
Jack
That's what you say
You say that I am
Swanson
Now that we have the gentleman
What more evidence do we need?
Judas, thank you for the victim
Stay a while and you'll see him bleed!
Cardiff
Now we have him, now we got him
Take him to Pilate, take him to Pilate!
Cardiff Resident 1
I think I've seen you somewhere.
I remember.
You were with that man they took away.
I recognize your face.
Gwen
You've got the wrong man lady.
I don't know him,
And I wasn't where he was tonight
Never near the place.
Cardiff Resident 2
That's strange, for I am sure I saw you with with him.
You were right by his side, and yet you denied.
Gwen
I tell you I was never with him.
Cardiff Resident 3
But I saw you too.
He looked just like you.
Gwen
I don't know him!
Ianto
Peter, don't you know what you have said.
You've gone and cut him dead.
Gwen
I had to do it, don't you see?
Or else they'd go for me.
Ianto
It's what he told us you would do.
I wonder how he knew.
Ten
Who is this broken man, cluttering up my hallway?
Who is this unfortunate?
UNIT person
Someone Christ,
King of the Jews.
Ten
Oh, so this is Jesus Christ,
I am really quite surprised.
You look so small,
Not a king at all.
We all know that you are news,
But are you king?
King of the Jews?
Jack
That's what you say.
Ten
What do you mean by that?
That is not an answer.
You're deep in trouble friend,
Someone Christ,
King of the Jews.
How can someone in your state be so cool about his fate?
An amazing thing, this silent king.
Since you come from Galilee, then you need not come to me,
You're Herod's race!
You're Herod's case!
Cardiff Peoples
Hey Ho Sanna Hey Sanna Sanna Sanna Hosanna
Hey Sanna Ho and how
Hey J.C., J.C. please explain to me,
You had everything.
Where is it now?
Someone Christ,
King of the Jews.
Ten
Oh, so this is Jesus Christ,
I am really quite surprised.
You look so small,
Not a king at all.
We all know that you are news,
But are you king?
King of the Jews?
Jack
That's what you say.
Ten
What do you mean by that?
That is not an answer.
You're deep in trouble friend,
Someone Christ,
King of the Jews.
How can someone in your state be so cool about his fate?
An amazing thing, this silent king.
Since you come from Galilee, then you need not come to me,
You're Herod's race!
You're Herod's case!
Cardiff Peoples
Hey Ho Sanna Hey Sanna Sanna Sanna Hosanna
Hey Sanna Ho and how
Hey J.C., J.C. please explain to me,
You had everything.
Where is it now?
Some UNIT Commander
Jesus, I am overjoyed to meet you face to face. You've been getting quite a name all around the place.
Healing cripples, raising from the dead.
And now I understand you're God,
At least, that's what you've said.
So, you are the Christ, you're the great Jesus Christ.
Prove to me that you're divine; change my water into wine.
That's all you need do, then I'll know it's all true.
Come on, King of the Jews.
Jesus, you just won't believe the hit you've made around here.
You are all we talk about, the wonder of the year.
Oh what a pity if it's all a lie.
Still, I'm sure that you can rock the cynics if you tried.
So, you are the Christ, you're the great Jesus Christ.
Prove to me that you're no fool; walk across my swimming pool.
If you do that for me, then I'll let you go free.
Come on, King of the Jews.
I only ask what I'd ask any superstar.
What is it that you have got that puts you where you are.
I am waiting, yes I'm a captive fan.
I'm dying to be shown that you are not just any man.
So, if you are the Christ, yes the great Jesus Christ
Feed my household with this bread.
You can do it on your head.
Or has something gone wrong. Jesus, why do you take so long?
Oh come on, King of the Jews.
Hey! Aren't you scared of me Christ?
Mr. Wonderful Christ?
You're a joke. You're not the Lord.
You are nothing but a fraud.
Take him away.
He's got nothing to say!
Get out you King of the,
Get out King of the,
Oh get out you King of the Jews!
Get out of here!
Get out of here you,
Get out of my life.
Now we have an interlude. Gwen and Ianto are in the Hub, doing different things, but singing to Jack. It's a really sweet scene in my head.
Ianto
I've been living to see you.
Dying to see you, but it shouldn't be like this.
This was unexpected,
What do I do now?
Could we start again please?
I've been very hopeful, so far.
Now for the first time, I think we're going wrong.
Hurry up and tell me,
This is just a dream.
Or could we start again please?
Gwen
I think you've made your point now.
Dying to see you, but it shouldn't be like this.
This was unexpected,
What do I do now?
Could we start again please?
I've been very hopeful, so far.
Now for the first time, I think we're going wrong.
Hurry up and tell me,
This is just a dream.
Or could we start again please?
Gwen
I think you've made your point now.
Gwen/Ianto
You've even gone a bit too far to get the message home.
Before it gets too frightening,
We ought to call a halt
Before it gets too frightening,
We ought to call a halt
Ianto
So could we start again please?
I've been living to see you.
Dying to see you, but it shouldn't be like this.
This was unexpected,
What do I do now?
Could we start again please?
So could we start again please?
I've been living to see you.
Dying to see you, but it shouldn't be like this.
This was unexpected,
What do I do now?
Could we start again please?
Gwen
I think you've made your point now.
I think you've made your point now.
Gwen/Ianto
You've even gone a bit too far to get the message home.
You've even gone a bit too far to get the message home.
Gwen
Before it gets too frightening,
We ought to call a halt
Before it gets too frightening,
We ought to call a halt
Ianto
So could we start again please?
So could we start again please?
Gwen
Could we start again please? (Repeated bunches between the two)
Could we start again please? (Repeated bunches between the two)
Now John is starting to feel guilty and meets with The Anti-Harkness Club. This is where we really feel bad for John. Or at least, I do.
John
My God, I saw him
He looked three-quarters dead
And he was so bad
I had to turn my head
You beat him so hard
That he was bent and lame
And I know who everybody's
Going to blame
I don't believe he knows
I acted for our good
I'd save him all the suffering
If I could
Don't believe
Our good
Save him
If I could
My God, I saw him
He looked three-quarters dead
And he was so bad
I had to turn my head
You beat him so hard
That he was bent and lame
And I know who everybody's
Going to blame
I don't believe he knows
I acted for our good
I'd save him all the suffering
If I could
Don't believe
Our good
Save him
If I could
Swanson
Cut the confessions
Forget the excuses
I don't understand why
You're filled with remorse
All that you've said
Has come true with a vengence
The mob has turned against him
You've backed the right horse
Mayor
What you have done
Will be the saving of Israel
You'll be remembered forever
For this
And not only that
You've been paid for your efforts
Pretty good wages
For one little kiss
John
Christ!
I know you can't hear me
But I only did what you wanted me to
Christ!
I'd sell out the nation
For I have been saddled
With the murder of you
I have been spattered
With innocent blood
I will be dragged
Through the slime and the mud
I have been spattered
With innocent blood
I will be dragged
Through the slime and the mud
I don't know how to love him
I don't know why he moves me
He's a man
He's just a man
He's not a king
He's just the same
As anyone I know
He scares me so!
When he's cold and dead
Will he let me be?
Does he love me too?
Does he care for me?
Ohhhhh...
My mind is darkness now
My god I am sick
I've been used
And you knew
All the time
God I'll never ever know
Why you chose me for your crime
For your foul bloody crime
You have murdered me!
You have murdered me!
Cut the confessions
Forget the excuses
I don't understand why
You're filled with remorse
All that you've said
Has come true with a vengence
The mob has turned against him
You've backed the right horse
Mayor
What you have done
Will be the saving of Israel
You'll be remembered forever
For this
And not only that
You've been paid for your efforts
Pretty good wages
For one little kiss
John
Christ!
I know you can't hear me
But I only did what you wanted me to
Christ!
I'd sell out the nation
For I have been saddled
With the murder of you
I have been spattered
With innocent blood
I will be dragged
Through the slime and the mud
I have been spattered
With innocent blood
I will be dragged
Through the slime and the mud
I don't know how to love him
I don't know why he moves me
He's a man
He's just a man
He's not a king
He's just the same
As anyone I know
He scares me so!
When he's cold and dead
Will he let me be?
Does he love me too?
Does he care for me?
Ohhhhh...
My mind is darkness now
My god I am sick
I've been used
And you knew
All the time
God I'll never ever know
Why you chose me for your crime
For your foul bloody crime
You have murdered me!
You have murdered me!
Choir of Angels (not the weeping type)
So long, Judas Poor old Judas
So long, Judas Poor old Judas
Now that John has killed himself, we go back to Pilate. This is the fun part. Bear in mind, the version I saw has Mary Magdalene (Ianto) watching as Jesus (Jack) is whipped by Pilate (the Doctor). There's a fic in just that, alone. This is...not really the sole reason I wanted to do this, but yeah, it's part of it. Yeah, it's a bit OOC, but shush. ;) It's really because I don't know who else I can make Pilate.
Ten
And so the king is once again my guest. And why is this? Was Herod unimpressed?
Mayor
We turn to Rome to sentence Nazareth.
We have no law to put a man to death.
We need him crucified.
It's all you have to do.
We need him crucified.
It's all you have to do.
Ten
Talk to me Jesus Christ.
You have been brought here
Manacled, beaten by your own people.
Do you have the first idea why you deserve it?
Listen King of the Jews,
Where is your kingdom?
Look at me. Am I a Jew?
Jack
I have no kingdom in this world.
I'm through.
There may be a kingdom for me somewhere.
If I only knew.
Ten
Then you are a king?
Jack
It's you that say I am.
I look for truth and find that I get damned.
Ten
But what is truth?
Is truth a changing law?
We both have truths.
Are mine the same as yours?
Cardiff
Crucify him! Crucify him!
Ten
What do you mean?
You'd crucify your king?
Cardiff
We have no king but Caesar!
I look for truth and find that I get damned.
Ten
But what is truth?
Is truth a changing law?
We both have truths.
Are mine the same as yours?
Cardiff
Crucify him! Crucify him!
Ten
What do you mean?
You'd crucify your king?
Cardiff
We have no king but Caesar!
Ten
He's done no wrong.
No, not the slightest thing.
Cardiff
We have no king but Caesar!
Crucify him!
Ten
What is this new respect for Caesar?
'Till now this has been noticeably lacking.
Who is this Jesus? Why is he different?
You Jews produce Messiahs by the sackfull.
Cardiff
We need him crucified,
It's all you have to do.
We need him crucified,
It's all you have to do.
Ten
Talk to me, Jesus Christ.
Look at your Jesus Christ.
I'll agree he's mad.
Ought to be locked up,
But that is not a reason to destroy him.
He's a sad little man.
Not a King or God.
Not a thief,
I need a crime!
Cardiff
Crucify him!
Ten
Behold a man,
Behold your shattered King.
Cardiff
We have no King but Caesar.
Ten
You hypocrites,
You hate us more than him.
Cardiff
We have no King but Caesar,
Crucify him!
Ten
I see no reason. I find no evil.
This man is harmless, so why does he upset you?
He's just misguided, thinks he's important,
But to keep you vultures happy I shall flog him.
Cardiff
Crucify him! Crucify him!
(Thirty-nine lashes, Ten counts each one as he flogs Jack and Ianto watches from up on a platform somewhere)
He's done no wrong.
No, not the slightest thing.
Cardiff
We have no king but Caesar!
Crucify him!
Ten
What is this new respect for Caesar?
'Till now this has been noticeably lacking.
Who is this Jesus? Why is he different?
You Jews produce Messiahs by the sackfull.
Cardiff
We need him crucified,
It's all you have to do.
We need him crucified,
It's all you have to do.
Ten
Talk to me, Jesus Christ.
Look at your Jesus Christ.
I'll agree he's mad.
Ought to be locked up,
But that is not a reason to destroy him.
He's a sad little man.
Not a King or God.
Not a thief,
I need a crime!
Cardiff
Crucify him!
Ten
Behold a man,
Behold your shattered King.
Cardiff
We have no King but Caesar.
Ten
You hypocrites,
You hate us more than him.
Cardiff
We have no King but Caesar,
Crucify him!
Ten
I see no reason. I find no evil.
This man is harmless, so why does he upset you?
He's just misguided, thinks he's important,
But to keep you vultures happy I shall flog him.
Cardiff
Crucify him! Crucify him!
(Thirty-nine lashes, Ten counts each one as he flogs Jack and Ianto watches from up on a platform somewhere)
Ten
Where are you from Jesus?
What do you want Jesus?
Tell me.
You've got to be careful.
You could be dead soon,
Could well be.
Why do you not speak when
I hold your life in my hands?
How can you stay quiet?
I don't believe you understand.
Jack
You have nothing in your hands.
Any power you have, comes to you from far beyond.
Everything is fixed, and you can't change it.
Ten
You're a fool Jesus Christ.
How can I help you?
Cardiff
Pilate, Crucify him!
Remember Caesar.
You have a duty
To keep the peace, so crucify him!
Remember Caesar.
You'll be demoted.
You'll be deported. Crucify him!
Remember Caesar.
You have a duty
To keep the peace, so crucify him!
Remember Caesar.
You'll be demoted.
You'll be deported. Crucify him!
Remember Caesar.
You have a duty
To keep the peace, so crucify him!
Remember Caesar.
You'll be demoted.
You'll be deported. Crucify him!
Ten
Don't let me stop your great self-destruction.
Die if you want to, you misguided martyr.
I wash my hands of your demolition.
Die if you want to you innocent puppet!
Where are you from Jesus?
What do you want Jesus?
Tell me.
You've got to be careful.
You could be dead soon,
Could well be.
Why do you not speak when
I hold your life in my hands?
How can you stay quiet?
I don't believe you understand.
Jack
You have nothing in your hands.
Any power you have, comes to you from far beyond.
Everything is fixed, and you can't change it.
Ten
You're a fool Jesus Christ.
How can I help you?
Cardiff
Pilate, Crucify him!
Remember Caesar.
You have a duty
To keep the peace, so crucify him!
Remember Caesar.
You'll be demoted.
You'll be deported. Crucify him!
Remember Caesar.
You have a duty
To keep the peace, so crucify him!
Remember Caesar.
You'll be demoted.
You'll be deported. Crucify him!
Remember Caesar.
You have a duty
To keep the peace, so crucify him!
Remember Caesar.
You'll be demoted.
You'll be deported. Crucify him!
Ten
Don't let me stop your great self-destruction.
Die if you want to, you misguided martyr.
I wash my hands of your demolition.
Die if you want to you innocent puppet!
*Shivers* Ahem. Anyway. As Jack is left alone and bleeding and whatnot, John appears (yay, Vortex Manipulators!) and sings a catchy song. WHAT? It happens in the play, it happens here.
John
Every time I look at you I don't understand Why you let the things you did get so out of hand.
You'd have managed better if you'd had it planned.
Why'd you choose such a backward time in such a strange land?
If you'd come today you could have reached a whole nation.
Israel in 4 BC had no mass communication.
Don't you get me wrong.
I only want to know.
Choir of...Angels or Time Agents?
Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ,
Who are you? What have you sacrificed?
Jesus Christ Superstar,
Do you think you're what they say you are?
Judas
Tell me what you think about your friends at the top.
Who'd you think besides yourself's the pick of the crop?
Buddha, was he where it's at? Is he where you are?
Could Mohammed move a mountain, or was that just PR?
Did you mean to die like that? Was that a mistake, or
Did you know your messy death would be a record breaker?
Don't you get me wrong.
I only want to know.
Choir
Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ,
Who are you? What have you sacrificed?
Jesus Christ Superstar,
Do you think you're what they say you are?
The version I saw had Judas dressed as...Elvis. Which was pretty hilarious, but...dumb. So John will be dressed as John. Finally, Jack is crucified. Ianto is there. So are Gwen and the team. And it's sad.
Jack
God forgive themThey don't know what they're doing
Who is my mother?
Where is my mother?
My God
My God
Why have you forgotten me?
I'm thirsty
I'm thirsty
Oh God I'm thirsty
It is finished
Father
Into your hands
I command my spirit
And that, folks, is the end. Well, no. Because then Jack comes back and life at TW goes on and I don't know. Stuff happens.
Can I just...make the cast of TW perform this? Please?
So, thoughts? Opinions? Ideas? ;)
Also, Happy Easter for those of you who celebrate! ♥
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no subject
Date: 2011-04-23 10:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-23 10:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-23 10:14 pm (UTC)Ianto singing "I don't know how to love him" makes me giggle too. Especially the "And I've had so many men before" part. Been getting around, haven't you, Ianto?
This is so fucking brilliant. This HAS to be staged. Send this to the cast, please?
Damn. If we can't get them to do it, we must make finger/hand puppets and act it all out. :D
no subject
Date: 2011-04-23 10:22 pm (UTC)Muahaha. My evil plan worked!YAY!I LOVE that line because...well...yes. In my head. Maybe he has. Especially Owen. And Andy. But I digress. And I love the parallel with...John singing it. *dies*
I wish I could. I wish they would do it. I wish for a lot of things. And...I am so down with making a video of this with puppets. Or even...dolls. Do they make dolls for all of them? *dies again* And the rest of the people can be, I dunno, Barbies or something.
Never mind. Finger puppets work better. They don't have an Owen action figure. WHY THE FUCK NOT!? *sigh* They have LISA. They have a fucking BLOWFISH. But no Owen. *tear*
But yes. This needs to happen.
no subject
Date: 2011-04-23 10:28 pm (UTC)There are Barbie-like dolls for Jack and Gwen (but they look dumb), and yeah action figures for everything except Owen (which is like, STUPID).
We could make the finger puppets ourselves. Like PotterPuppetPals. :D
no subject
Date: 2011-04-23 10:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-23 10:37 pm (UTC)So finger puppets it is.
My summer project. :D
no subject
Date: 2011-04-23 10:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-23 10:29 pm (UTC)You know my thoughts already. Most of them are *SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*
Lol.
no subject
Date: 2011-04-23 10:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-23 10:41 pm (UTC)We just need to find people to sing the parts. Especially guys.
*flails madly* We must SO DO THIS!!!
no subject
Date: 2011-04-23 10:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-23 11:04 pm (UTC)Okay, now we must really, REALLY do it. No excuses.
no subject
Date: 2011-04-24 12:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-24 12:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-24 06:17 am (UTC)You're awesome! :D
no subject
Date: 2011-04-24 02:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-25 04:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-24 07:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-24 02:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-24 08:57 pm (UTC)jcs 2000 is probably my favourite musical ever :) it is so cleverly done and so much undertone messaging and stuff to analyse! it makes my little geeky brain get all overexcited :) it would be perfect for torchwood :)
no subject
Date: 2011-04-29 05:37 pm (UTC)You should write this for the next Reel TW!
no subject
Date: 2011-04-29 05:42 pm (UTC)And I already have an idea for Reel TW...if I can pull it off! This will be...a...uhm...musical TW! lol