Boys and Sex and Saria Is Clearly Broken

[sariagray]

Okay, full disclosure. Just because it's bothering me.

I agree that both John Barrowman and Gareth David-Lloyd are attractive. There are even moments when I am attracted to them. But generally, they do nothing for me. At all. My appreciation of their symmetrical features is purely abstract, the way one may remark upon a nicely structured house, or a pretty piece of shoreline, or the organized alignment of books on a shelf. "Ah," I think. "Yes, I realize that this is aesthetically pleasing." Beyond that, they don't do much for me, not really. 

I am not attracted to them, but I am attracted to their characters' relationship. The adversity, the passion, the unexpectedness of it all. The idea of love and affection and trust growing out of betrayal like Athena springing from Zeus's forehead (perhaps not an apt metaphor). The romance of a completely unromantic, bare bones relationship that refuses to be defined because it doesn't need to be. I don't want to be with them, I want to be them, in the midst of all of that, with each other. 

 

This probably makes absolutely no sense. But I'm getting to a point, here. 

 

Of course I will watch tonight's episode, and I'm excited for it, but I don't really care about the sex scene and I'm really not interested in seeing either of these people nude. I'm not against it, even if it is gratuitous, but I do hope that it serves to either further plot or flesh out backstory. Otherwise...I just don't care much.

 

Admitting this makes me feel like a broken human. Sorry I'm broken.

 

Also, it is 100 degrees, and humid. I am planning a permanent move to Antarctica.

Comments

[pocky_slash.livejournal.com]

Aw, you're not broken, dude. It's a long standing fact that while I would bone the hell out of Ianto because, as a human being, he is attractive to me, I don't find GDL at all attractive as a person. (Also, he reminds me of my brother.)

So yeah, I don't think it's an uncommon feeling, not even in fandom.

(The Barrowman thing I just don't get at all. While I can acknowledge that GDL is an attractive dude even if I'm not attracted to him, I do not at all understand how anyone finds Barrowman attractive. But that's just me. And I'm a lesbian, so what do I know.)

[sariagray.livejournal.com]

Being reminded of one's relations does put a damper on things, yes! :D

And I think I love them, and am attracted to them, like I am to metaphors. "I want to screw your brains out, because you are a sexy literary device." This makes more sense in my head.

And maybe it isn't uncommon, but I see so many people focused on the sheer attractiveness of these people, and I play along, but...maybe we're all playing along? It's a mass delusion?

(YES. This. And I think it's his personality, too, that for some reason irritates me. He rubs me the wrong way and I have NO idea why! Well, no, I DO know why...but let's not get into all of that....*shifty eyes*)

[pocky_slash.livejournal.com]

I mean, there are a lot of people who are like, "Yeah, man, that person is so hot!" and mean it and I get that mentality, I guess, because I'm that way with some women (I just told Becca last night that I would go to a movie with her because Amanda Seyfried is in it and I would hit that so hard), but generally I'm more attracted to people's personalities, etc, and definitely less likely to be like, "I CAN'T WAIT FOR A SEX SCENE BECAUSE I WANT TO SEE THAT PERSON NAKED!!" Especially because sex scenes are generally stupid? I mean, sometimes they're used well, but half the time they're just pasted in to be edgy. I'm the same way with fic, to be honest. Sometimes you need a good, well-written sex scene to further the plot, but most of the time I feel like sex scenes are just jammed into otherwise good fics for no reason.

So, yeah. People like what they like. And sometimes they like the fictional version and sometimes they like the real person, but there's no need to play along, I don't think. Not being excited about a gratuitous sex scene just because there will be naked men is, I think, not something to be embarrassed about.


(Don't even get me started on Barrowman, man. Just. Ugh.)

[sariagray.livejournal.com]

You're absolutely right. This is probably part of the reason I edge away from writing scenes (in addition to the fact that I always feel like I'm trying to fit square pegs into round holes or something - and please do not take this literally).

People do like what they like, and that's fine. I don't actually pretend to like this specific sex scene, but I do sort of fake an admiration for the attractiveness of the actors. And yes! Personality! Absolutely.

I think I would like to marry you. Would you be okay with this? ;)

[lawsontl.livejournal.com]

You can marry her, but just remember, I proposed first :)

[sariagray.livejournal.com]

I'm going to need a bigger living space, aren't I? ;)

[pocky_slash.livejournal.com]

Like, I'm cool with PWPs and everything--sometimes you just want to read/write some porn! Awesome! But when I'm reading a really long fic and it starts to feel like they're just having sex because the author wants them to have a lot of sex, regardless of development? Yeah. Not interested. I don't write much porn myself, mostly because I don't find myself needing it to further my plot very often and I'm mostly writing long plotty things these days. (I am determined to have the main couple kiss in my 30k WiP. Eventually. Probably.)

Legit conversation Becca and I had in the kitchen when I got home this evening:
B: Someone on my Twitter list said, "I got home just in time to watch Torchwood: Sex" and it furthered my resolve not to watch this season.
K: Yeah, everyone on the internet was like, "omggggg Barrowman will be naaaaaked!" and I wanted to die.
B: Why is everyone wrong on the internet?
K: I don't know, bb. But I know two other people who also aren't wrong about Barrowman!
B: Thank god. We need to stick together.

Then I booted up my computer and saw this, so OF COURSE you can marry me, though I come with baggage XD (aka mcwonthelottery)

[sariagray.livejournal.com]

PWP is a completely necessary way of (fanfic) life, so long as it isn't trying to masquerade as something it isn't. I hate being duped.

Also, I love that conversation.

Baggage is totally fine. I have a palace. It's all good. :D

[xrai-namere.livejournal.com]

You are not broken. NOT AT ALL.
I may squee like everyone else, and while I find them both aesthetically pleasing, I am not attracted to John Barrowman or Gareth David-Lloyd either. I've tried to be. It didn't really work.
Jack and Ianto's relationship, yes. But even when it comes to the characters, if I'd have the chance to sleep with them, I'd probably say no too. (Okay, I may say yes, but purely for the opportunity to boast than out of sexual attraction.)
And as for tonight's episode, to quote Ianto_of_Jones on twitter, "They're marketing [it] like porn". I'd probably be a bit more interested if it were Jack and Ianto screwing, and even so I'd watch it more to explore their on-screen (canon) dynamics in bed. This gratuitous one-night stand just to sell the episode as "Torchwood"? Urgh. It doesn't contribute to anything. Not interested. And I'm glad it's airing now and over. I'm sick of everyone complaining about Barrowman's butt or the lack of it.

And yeah, it's sweltering. It's not even this hot back home (which is next to the freaking equator for chrissakes). But if you move to Antartica I will miss you. (Will you ride polar bears?!) ;)

[sariagray.livejournal.com]

*Hugs* Thank you. I'm glad to know I'm not alone! And yes, to the bragging rights. I think...I just....I am so attracted to the space between them, but either of them? Meh.

I'm interested in this scene to see the dynamic and fit it into my Jack/Ianto canon. Even if I have to beat it into shape.

It was really sad that 90 degrees just felt cool. I will miss you, too. But I will keep a polar bear in the stable for you so that you have transportation when you come to visit me.

[azn-jack-fiend.livejournal.com]

Hey, try not to make yourself feel bad about not fitting some phantom norm of desire. I figure there are so many people who try to make other people feel bad for what they like, we might as well go as easy on ourselves as possible :-) Sex-shaming is depressing, no matter which direction (too much! too little!) it's aimed.

I'm really not a shipper at all, so I've always perceived myself as part of a tiny minority in Torchwood fandom and in any fandom, for that matter. I enjoy fictionally exploring sexual relationships and all kinds of complicated non-sexual relationships but I just don't focus on shipping, or care at all if A and B end up together forever. That made writing the romance novel I just finished writing a fascinating stretch, to say the least.

[sariagray.livejournal.com]

That made writing the romance novel I just finished writing a fascinating stretch, to say the least.

*Snort* I imagine it would, yes! And I can totally appreciate not particularly shipping certain characters. Life is rarely a shipper's dream, anyway, and I've always preferred realism.

It's not so much that I feel bad, not really, but that it gets to the point where it becomes so impossible to explain that I just through my hands up in frustration and nod along with the crowd.

It's like trying to explain the fluidity of sexuality, being pansexual, etc. to people. "Well, so, are you gay, straight, or bi?" only more "So, wait, you're not attracted to them, but you ship them?"

(If any of this is totally incoherent, I blame the heat for melting my brain).

[lawsontl.livejournal.com]

It makes perfect sense actually. We like what we like when we like it. What's wrong with that?

[lawsontl.livejournal.com]

Nothing broken about you, Saria. I totally get what you're saying. In fact, I just read your post aloud to my poor, beleaguered husband who is all "Would you PLEASE stop talking about this show you supposedly don't like anymore?"

These days, I'm kinda MSTW3.

I'm all for a good PWP, but the stories that satisfy me on ALL levels are the stories where the characters are developed in some way through their sexual behaviors. I hate it when it's just slapped in there, as noted above. Or, worse, when the plot seems to be a vehicle to get characters on to the next sex scene. UGH.

Anyhow, I see your point and raise it. I'd bone Barrowman, but I don't like the notion of getting in on established relationships, and there's the whole Scott thing. That's a buzz kill. And I'd have boned GDL in a very rude fashion at Torchsong, because he was so edible in that scruffy so NOT Ianto way. But what I really want is to be the meat in the filling of a sandwich made with a slice of pre-marriage, Torchsong GDL and a slice of Ianto. In the purple shirt. So, yeah, there's a lot to sort out there.

Some days, I'd be quite happy just to be a fly on the wall the moment that Jack and Ianto spent 30 seconds content in the knowledge that they knew each other better than anyone else, and nothing needed saying to prove it. *sigh*

[sariagray.livejournal.com]

I love that my post just got read aloud to your husband. I'm not sure why that amuses me so much, but it does. :D

There are absolutely moments where I'm completely willing to throw myself at their feet and on their mercy (among other things), and there are times where I just stare at them curiously, like they're an alien species. And it all depends on my mood, the alignment of the stars, the weather, and whether or not I've had my coffee yet. So I can definitely see that, properly sorted or not.

Some days, I'd be quite happy just to be a fly on the wall the moment that Jack and Ianto spent 30 seconds content in the knowledge that they knew each other better than anyone else, and nothing needed saying to prove it. *sigh*

This. Exactly.

[fiwen1010.livejournal.com]

*Searches fruitlessly for the like button*

I agree with all of this so hard. I can see that they're attactive in a 'gay, not blind' kind of way, but I'm not attracted to either of them. Possibly in love with Ianto, because it's kind of hard not to be, but that's all there is to it.

[sariagray.livejournal.com]

<3

I do love Ianto, yes, although it actually took me a while to get there (like, when I was bawling during COE? And then I was like, "Oh, crap!" I kinda felt like Jack).

[miss-bekahrose.livejournal.com]

I don't think your're broken at all, and like someone else pointed up-thread; we like, what we like, when we like it.

I find both JB and GDL attractive, but then, they fit my "type" when I'm looking at male partners. But, if it came down to it, I'd choose the substance of a relationship with the characters they portray, much, much more.

I'm hoping that The Scene, helps to further the plot, otherwise, yeah, gratuitous sex for the sake of gratuitous sex does nothing for me, really. If I wanted porn, I'd... I dunno, I'd read a PWP or something.

[sariagray.livejournal.com]

See, type may definitely have something to do with it? I often forget I have a type, but yeah, I do. (And if we ever got Jonathan Rhys-Meyers in Torchwood, I'd be okay with anything?) ;)