The Fan Fic Year

[sariagray]

Pumpkin beer
it's good! the yard of leaves
the fall smiling at us
-The Haiku Year

Okay. So a fan fic year is not quite as neat as "The Haiku Year." At all, really. But it's what I've got, and it was completely accidental, so there you have it.

In fact, my year was totally different. I haven't written, you know, a fic a day. I am also not famous. But the premise of "The Haiku Year" is that:

seven friends made a pact to write haikus every day for a year as a way to keep in touch with each other....Hinting at the transcendence and banality of everyday life, the short verses signify an appreciation for small moments of beauty and ultimately urge readers to let these realizations pierce through the numbness of their daily routines.

And isn't that what we're doing here? Because while we're writing about pre-existing fictional characters, you take all of that away and we're talking about our lives. When you strip away the characterizations and the peripheral bits (aliens, dinosaurs, guns, time and space), we're writing what we know and what we know is our day-to-day.

I know I'm not the only one who sits down at something like a Manager's Essentials Training and thinks, "God, what would Jack be like at one of these things?" And the next thing I know, I'm writing a fic, and the outside consultant is based on our HR representative at work.

Maybe I am the only one who does this. Either way, for me, the only difference is that I first started to communicate with you all, all around the world, and then we became friends. But we kept the communication up. I think you all know more about my life from my fic than anything I've ever said outright.

I was looking back at my older works today, and I mentioned it to analineblue. And then I got to thinking about how much has changed. How much I've changed, too, both as a person and a writer (and yes, I use that term loosely). I mean, the first half of my Master List? A part of me would like to remove that from the Official Record. A much bigger part of me, though, is glad that it's there so that I can look back on it and be proud at whatever growth has managed to occur. It's like ridiculous juvenilia, except that it's only a year (or less!) old. Could I really have changed that much in a year?

Short answer? Yes. I've been writing constantly since I started. Things that never see past the light of my WIP folder, things that I've posted, snippets I have tucked away in my phone that I later stumble across and frown over because sentences like "Ianto star. For traveler. Guy in glasses" and "Suzie Jack so Gwen? And Ianto?" make absolutely no sense three hours after they'd been written.

As I've stated in previous entries/discussions, fan fiction really gives a writer a lot of room to play with style and extremely detailed characterization and setting and mood and detail. "Jack and Ianto talk about their relationship" is, well, abundant. Really abundant. We all know who Jack and Ianto are. We all know the sorts of things they say to each other, so what makes these myriad stories interesting? How the author writes them. As an author, this is a fantastic sandbox for stretching one's ability and flexing one's writing muscles.

But it's not just the physicality of writing that helps shape the writing process. Here there's a steady stream of feedback. I don't think, aside from having a beta, anyone's ever said, "This whole thing does NOT work. You're dumb. I hate this" or even, "Perhaps you should do x, y, and z instead!" But the measure of comments, what people say they like, is just as telling. And to get a positive note from a writer you really respect is more than encouraging.

I've taken a bunch of creative writing courses. A lot of times, you get people who take it for an easy pass. The last one I took, I respected the professor beyond belief, and one or two other classmates, but the others had absolutely no interest, and so just threw words onto a page and walked away. And then they would have to critique our work. I always got stuff like, "I don't understand it, but it sounds good." At first I thought my writing was unclear, but then after the third or fourth time I got a message like that, I realized that they weren't even reading it.

Here, there are so many writers I respect, and for different reasons and in different genres. Not only that, fandom is a tailor-made audience. My readers are obviously interested in the subject itself - I can't really dazzle anyone there, but at the same time, there's a passion there. People are looking to read this stuff. No one was looking to read my ridiculous masochistic, opium-obsessed poetry. At least, I don't think they were. Who knows, though?

So anyway, prior to my tangent, I was looking back on my old works. Old. Ha. Anyway. Wow. They're a mess. I mean, really. A mess. But I knew no one in this fandom at the time. I just literally stumbled in, blind, because hey, I just spent a week or so watching this show, and I had all sorts of ideas about it, and feelings, and I generally just walk into stuff without thought. So that's kind of what I did. I thought I'd get it out of my system, write a story or two, and move on. Maybe I'd last a month. At most, two.

Here I am a year later with five series (please ignore them all? Except maybe "Use It In A Sentence," which I'm proud of in theory) and seventy one standalone stories, and three collaborations, and a handful of drabbles. And a Big Bang/Collaboration in the works. Uhm. WHAT? Granted, my fics are short. But still. When did these things happen? That's more than one fic every five days for a year.

"I am not a machine," she says.

No, they aren't all good, but that isn't the point. Not really. They exist. They are bits and pieces of communication that I've shared with all of you, somehow, across...time and space? Basically, what I'm saying is that I've met people I never would have if I'd just stayed out of this fandom. *Grin*

It's funny, too. I think my whole office knows I write fan fiction. One of the managers took me out to lunch yesterday to discuss a training I had to give her team, and we talked about my mini ficathon for East Africa. She also asked me how LAS was going. My new boss and I were talking about her husband's ex girlfriend who is a journalist and also writes fan fiction. My mom helps beta my stories. I love that it's reaching a level of visibility and acceptance...everywhere.

So, yes. Basically, thank you for hanging around and being encouraging during my Fan Fic Year. Not that I'm planning on going anywhere any time soon. But I just thought that this was something that I needed to make note of for myself. :) And because I needed to kill time while my nails dry. But really, it's pretty incredible. I've never been able to force myself to write so often, for such a long duration, before stumbling here with my eyes closed and my hands out like I was playing "Blind Man's Bluff."

Also, happy autumn (close enough)! The leaves are starting to change colors, there is pumpkin spice coffee everywhere and it's in the 60s here. I love being cold.

Comments

[sariagray.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't, no! :)

I know you write for other fandoms, so it's interesting to see that you've written other things for them than other characters! I know I write other characters within TW when I'm trying to say certain things, so it makes sense.

Yay, many years of fic! :D

(Yeah, totally. I mean, they're a lot shorter than most of yours, overall, so we might be close to the same word-count!)