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sariagrayOh, look. I'm whining about stuff.
Okay. Yes, I already KNEW we weren't having Christmas this year. But I'm still disappointed, as it's my favorite holiday and I literally look forward to it all year. Not now. No tree, no lights, no decorations, no cookies. SO, yeah, no Christmas. I will be spending the majority of the holiday at my coworker's house, by myself.
But, in any case, I still wanted to buy my family a little something. I didn't get paid last week because someone down the line was an idiot. Long story. That all got sorted, but THEN I find out today that they aren't going to pay me until Christmas Eve. There goes THAT idea.
Then today at work a water main/line/thing broke. And everyone got to go home EXCEPT the people across the street (which includes me, of course) because our water wasn't shut off...it just wasn't WORKING. Seriously, it was disgusting. They sent us a lovely email saying that we could go to the library down the street to use the bathrooms if we needed.
So finally, after a long day of stress, I remember my constant craving for fish and chips. My town used to have two joints that offered such fare. One, I knew, had closed about a year ago. So I drive across town to the other one. THEY'RE not open again until January 4th. I JUST WANTED FISH AND CHIPS! I have been craving it for almost a month now! WHAT THE HELL!?
Throughout all of this, I keep finding myself repeating "I want to go home." But I AM home. It's not helping that I miss my ex like crazy; it was all well and good until now. I've spent the last five Christmases with her and it sucks to...well, not. Once the holiday ends, I'll be in a better place, I think. But then, I've never ever had to say that about Christmas before. Is this what growing up is? It's stupid. I don't want it.
Okay. Yes, I already KNEW we weren't having Christmas this year. But I'm still disappointed, as it's my favorite holiday and I literally look forward to it all year. Not now. No tree, no lights, no decorations, no cookies. SO, yeah, no Christmas. I will be spending the majority of the holiday at my coworker's house, by myself.
But, in any case, I still wanted to buy my family a little something. I didn't get paid last week because someone down the line was an idiot. Long story. That all got sorted, but THEN I find out today that they aren't going to pay me until Christmas Eve. There goes THAT idea.
I still had a little bit of money, though. Until Netflix charged me $30 for two DVDs that I sent back over a month ago. They were excellent people and reversed the charges, no questions asked. But that will still take a couple of days to clear.
Then today at work a water main/line/thing broke. And everyone got to go home EXCEPT the people across the street (which includes me, of course) because our water wasn't shut off...it just wasn't WORKING. Seriously, it was disgusting. They sent us a lovely email saying that we could go to the library down the street to use the bathrooms if we needed.
So finally, after a long day of stress, I remember my constant craving for fish and chips. My town used to have two joints that offered such fare. One, I knew, had closed about a year ago. So I drive across town to the other one. THEY'RE not open again until January 4th. I JUST WANTED FISH AND CHIPS! I have been craving it for almost a month now! WHAT THE HELL!?
Throughout all of this, I keep finding myself repeating "I want to go home." But I AM home. It's not helping that I miss my ex like crazy; it was all well and good until now. I've spent the last five Christmases with her and it sucks to...well, not. Once the holiday ends, I'll be in a better place, I think. But then, I've never ever had to say that about Christmas before. Is this what growing up is? It's stupid. I don't want it.
no subject
Date: 2010-12-21 11:59 pm (UTC)I know the feeling - I want to go home too! I am home, but it's not home. No heating, can's sleep in my own bed, things are being put in storage as fast as we can pack it up and find someone to transport it. Because I'm agoraphobic, my room has always been my sanctuary, but it's not anymore.
Hope things get sorted for you, really sorry you didn't get your fish and chips! When you're already down, life finds new and exciting ways to kick you in the teeth!
no subject
Date: 2010-12-22 12:23 am (UTC)I hope you get things sorted soon, hun!
I think the fish and chips was the final straw. Such a little thing, but I seriously almost started to bawl. I NEVER cry. The Christmas bit (or, really, lack thereof) wouldn't be so bad if it was a money issue. But no, it's alcoholism and depression and blindness. Oh, my family.
Again, please let me know if there's anything at all I can do for you. I know I'm...a long ways away, but, still. Anything I'm able to do, I will. *BIG HUGS*
no subject
Date: 2010-12-22 01:22 am (UTC)I hope your missing Christmas won't get you too down. We've grown so cluttered we haven't had decorations up for several years as there was nowhere to put them. If one good thing has come from all this, at least mum has been forced to part with large quantities of junk! We're only just starting to get rid of stuff, but there's a load being picked up by a charity shop tomorrow. The more clutter we can get rid of, the better!
Have the happiest sort-of-Christmas-without-really-seeming-like-Christmas that you can! *hugs you tight*