Letters to Celebrities
Sep. 7th, 2011 07:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sariagrayDear Gareth David-Lloyd,
Please do me a favor and stop looking like my ex's roommate. It is really starting to confuse me; there are only so many times I can look at people's Dragon*Con pics and think, "Why are people taking photos with Dan!?" before I start twitching. If you do not cease and desist, I will be forced to recruit you to play him in my future bio-pic.
Sincerely,
Me.
Dear James Marsters,
Please stop being the connective tissue to all of my favorite things. I am tired of playing Six Degrees of James Marsters by accident. It generally results in a lot of lost brain cells for me.
Sincerely,
Me.
Dear Jonathan Rhys-Meyers,
I love you. Stop being so crazy.
Sincerely,
Me.
Dear Daniel Johns,
Would you kindly reacquire long blond hair and remove your...what is that, anyway? A goatee? I have no idea. Would it confuse you if I handed you Rogaine and a razor, simultaneously?
Sincerely,
Me.
Dear Tori Amos,
I really hope that you aren't buying into the Twilight hype. Your new album better be good. And not sparkly. I miss Pele.
Sincerely,
Me.
Dear John Barrowman,
I do not understand you at all. I don't think I ever will. I also don't think you care. But I still think you should know.
Sincerely,
Me.
Dear Chocolate Mousse Cake,
You are not a celebrity, but you are delicious and perfect and also gone, because I ate you. Nom.
With all of my eternal love and gratitude,
Me.
Please do me a favor and stop looking like my ex's roommate. It is really starting to confuse me; there are only so many times I can look at people's Dragon*Con pics and think, "Why are people taking photos with Dan!?" before I start twitching. If you do not cease and desist, I will be forced to recruit you to play him in my future bio-pic.
Sincerely,
Me.
Dear James Marsters,
Please stop being the connective tissue to all of my favorite things. I am tired of playing Six Degrees of James Marsters by accident. It generally results in a lot of lost brain cells for me.
Sincerely,
Me.
Dear Jonathan Rhys-Meyers,
I love you. Stop being so crazy.
Sincerely,
Me.
Dear Daniel Johns,
Would you kindly reacquire long blond hair and remove your...what is that, anyway? A goatee? I have no idea. Would it confuse you if I handed you Rogaine and a razor, simultaneously?
Sincerely,
Me.
Dear Tori Amos,
I really hope that you aren't buying into the Twilight hype. Your new album better be good. And not sparkly. I miss Pele.
Sincerely,
Me.
Dear John Barrowman,
I do not understand you at all. I don't think I ever will. I also don't think you care. But I still think you should know.
Sincerely,
Me.
Dear Chocolate Mousse Cake,
You are not a celebrity, but you are delicious and perfect and also gone, because I ate you. Nom.
With all of my eternal love and gratitude,
Me.
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no subject
Date: 2011-09-08 03:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-08 10:15 am (UTC)"We the people of Torchwood's fan-base , in order to create a more perfect fandom...." ;)
no subject
Date: 2011-09-08 12:01 pm (UTC)I stopped trying to understand him ages ago (in fact, since I've heard of him, I think). Just don't take him too seriously, he's actually kind of funny as a big joke ;)
no subject
Date: 2011-09-08 11:14 pm (UTC)He is just one big head fuck. It's like being a fan of the Welsh rugby team - very hard at times :)
I am so glad that MD will be over soon. I am going to see JB in concert next month and I want to love him again before that!
Come on Wales! [First match of RWC for us on Sunday against reigning champions S. Africa, so no pressure...]