Letters to Celebrities

[sariagray]

Dear Gareth David-Lloyd,

Please do me a favor and stop looking like my ex's roommate. It is really starting to confuse me; there are only so many times I can look at people's Dragon*Con pics and think, "Why are people taking photos with Dan!?" before I start twitching. If you do not cease and desist, I will be forced to recruit you to play him in my future bio-pic.

Sincerely,
Me.


Dear James Marsters,

Please stop being the connective tissue to all of my favorite things. I am tired of playing Six Degrees of James Marsters by accident. It generally results in a lot of lost brain cells for me.

Sincerely,
Me.


Dear Jonathan Rhys-Meyers,

I love you. Stop being so crazy.

Sincerely,
Me.


Dear Daniel Johns,

Would you kindly reacquire long blond hair and remove your...what is that, anyway? A goatee? I have no idea. Would it confuse you if I handed you Rogaine and a razor, simultaneously?

Sincerely,
Me.


Dear Tori Amos,

I really hope that you aren't buying into the Twilight hype. Your new album better be good. And not sparkly. I miss Pele.

Sincerely,
Me.


Dear John Barrowman,

I do not understand you at all. I don't think I ever will. I also don't think you care. But I still think you should know.

Sincerely,
Me.


Dear Chocolate Mousse Cake,

You are not a celebrity, but you are delicious and perfect and also gone, because I ate you. Nom.

With all of my eternal love and gratitude,
Me.

Comments

[jedi-harkness.livejournal.com]

*nom nom* ;)